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Friends with benefits = awesome! Uncles with benefits = creepy! 
More bad news from Hollywood: George Clooney survived his motorcycle wreck.
its about to be 2012: if you miss someone because they have passed away and in heaven , click like or type in their name..
I found a used condom in my box of Corn Flakes.... I think it was the work of a cereal rapist
I wonder if Buzz and Woody ever met some of Andy's mom's toys. Especially since they probably have the same names.,
If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband, what makes her think she can satisfy America?
.... SEAL Team 6 Killed the bearded one ..... let's get that straight .... once and for all!!!!!
Yesterday I posted "Happy Almost Mother's Day!" on this chick I grew up with's Facebook page, guess I was the only one who remembered her abortion.
Breaking news: Taliban fighters seen throwing down their weapons and running for the hills after USA repeals "Don't Ask Don't Tell".......
broke as a mofo..why can't Santa Claus be real????
thinks some people should not be allowed to drive, reproduce, or breathe........and especially not all at the same time
“How depressing, it's so cold and grey,” said the wife. “Well, it is January,” I replied. … then I noticed the dead elephant lying in our front room.
cmon now, lets be serious...noone would be stupid enough to catch a grenade for anyone.
wishing that the gnomes would return my stuff!
says it's debatable that Senator Kennedy was a good Senator, but we can all agree he was not the best choice for a ride home after a party.
thinks mother nature is bi-polar
Sow your wild oats on Saturday night; then on Sunday, pray for crop failure
Any man who does that should be Hung!" The man slowly took a sip of his beer then quietly replied... "I am,......and that's why she is happy to mow the lawn.
My mom and I were playing "Call of Duty" the other day.... I was calling her to check if she was doing the cleaning, cooking, and ironing
Hopefully Kate Middleton knows that being decapitated for not producing a male heir is part of the deal. 