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I hadn't really planned on doing much today. So the little I have done makes me seem like an over achiever! Winning..... 
I'm also not a JETS fan,,, but on E-Bay, If I ever see a old, used,, Dirty Sanchez jersey,, I'm TOTALLY buying that too....
BTW,, I won't walk a mile even in my own friggin shoes,,,, So,,
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
No story that begins with "She had never drunk tequila before" ever has a happy ending
When playing Modern Warfare 3 video game, is the menu suppose to…okay, I guess by now the girls have stopped reading. So fellas, any of you out there get nervous when make up sex starts with a BJ?
"I don't know why poor people hate me. There's always a new refrigerator box in my front yard for them to use."~ Rush Limbaugh
This empty bottle of rum has very good manners for being completely drunk. I on the other hand do not.
Mothers can either make the Best wing-men or the Worst c0ck-blockers
I don't always drink beer... Ahh, who am I kidding? I always drink beer.
Figuring things out for yourself is practically the only freedom anyone really has nowadays. Use that freedom.
I'm not drunk...I'm avoiding snipers.
I tried to give the kids piggie back rides and now they're covered in mud and hog bites. Farms are stupid.
Dear Mom & Dad, when you said- "Let`s go", I assumed you were ready to go also. Sincerely, Been waiting in the car for 20 minutes
-Thinking about the time I got head so good I drooled in her hair by mistake o.0
Whoever taught Yoda English in High School did a horrible job.
Why are the Egyptian people so angry......
poor Kenyans who thought Obama was one of theirs!!!
Perhaps when facebook goes public, they'll be able to afford servers that don't remind me of the unreliable one's who work the graveyard shift at Denny's.
It's bullshit that 1-800-PET-MEDS won't deliver medicinal marijuana to my dog. 