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just said "no" to Kanye and Serena's FB friend requests. 
says ladies...don't be looking for the white knights on horses... keep your eye out for the vampire in the volvo!!!
aparently there is a difference between funny and clever and I dont know the difference-so I am told.
thinks Kayne West truly is a gay fish.
doesnt have a control button on his keyboard because he's "always in control"
not broke..he is financially challenged!
How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? Its not hard.
on the road. His cynicism is riding shotgun.
Good News: Ted Kennedy is 3 weeks sober!
just watched a video on youtube called 3-minute abs. I worked out for 3 minutes but my abs look the same…what a ripoff!
wondering : is life only about party, alcohol, drugs and sex ?
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat Minor
Was eating at Hooters, and started thinking. If they had door-to-door delivery, would they change their name to Knockers……
had his wife accuse him of being self-important. He nearly fell off his throne!
not perfect, but He still loves me, Not good enough but she still hugs me, NOT Bill Gates but they still mug me!
│▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒│ scratch it! The jackpot is a NOBEL PRIZE!!! who knows you may b the next winner…
Who else, when they buy a magazine with a CD on the front, picks off the glue that holds it in place and rolls it around their fingers like it's some kind of mega snot?
just got his swine flu shot. It's made with real bits of swine, so you know it's good.
was going to stop procrastinating and be productive today but I think I'll do that later. ;o)
In every loss, in every lie, in every truth that you'd deny And each regret and each goodbye was a mistake too great to hide!! " linkin Park - New Divide" 