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remembers a time when 'Binge Drinking' was simply called 'Getting Pissed' 
says, I love work. I can sit and watch it all day.
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering
England's oldest postman retired today after 40 years in the service. Friends and family lined up to wish him good luck in his retirement. He told them to go to the next window.
Pull my finger... THEN RUN LIKE HELL!!
moved on to a better place & you're not coming.
some people leave the "smart" out of smartass!
did it like this, I did it like that, I did it with a whiffle ball bat...
: Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat...
Sexual abuse by clergy, it's not just for Catholics anymore.
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
putting his left foot in and taking his left foot out - but he is NOT doing the hokie pokie
why aren't there any puerto ricans on the show Star Trek? answer..cause they don't plan to work in the future either!!!
Whoa! I just took a big, stinky Muhammad. Luckily, I've got a nice, porous Koran to wipe my arse with
If I was a woman with a perfectly good v@gina and my man wanted @nal, I'd probably question his sexuality.
Lindsey Lohan?Yeah i'd definitely hit that...In the head...with a baseball bat.
compulsively obsessed with OCD
Desperate for sex I headed to the local club and immediately started chatting to the 1st girl I saw and got right to the point. "Hey beautiful, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized." she replied.
and the moral of the story is........Rapist don't win Super Bowls!!!
saw an Indian asleep on the train, noticed the little red dot on his forehead, and thought, "Is he on standby?" 