gay Jeffrey Funny Status Messages

   You look me in my eye and tell me that I don't have what it takes to be a Cyclops.

   Please stop praying for my grandpa you are making him too strong. He broke out of the hospital & cops say their guns don't work on him

   Tarantino sounds like a brand of frozen pizzas

   *Lance begins to cry. Oprah leans in* I think what you need Lance is a....performance enhancing hug

   I enter a talent show. The judges say I don't have the right stuff. I pull out Tom Wolfe's 1979 book "The Right Stuff." The crowd goes wild.

   Bought a shirt with three wolves on it. Agressively seeking high fives from strangers.

   I've accepted every email offer I've ever received. My p3 Nis is now 235 feet long.

   Ladies, please. Enough with the fighting. I have plenty of tentacles for everyone.

   we can be friends or we can be spiders

   Dear son, Another hard year on the farm. Father had a stroke, bills are piling up. Are you famous on facebook yet? We are proud of you! -mom

   Alternate universe where all the nerds were bullied by the musicians in high school and the jocks protected them. That's where I live

   If I had a chainsaw, that would be my answer to everything

   Somewhere, Joe Rogan's date is texting while he talks about supplements

   Making snow angels & writing Ron Paul underneath because people need to know the truth

   Lol here come all the brand new Redskins fans

   Les Miserables is French for "It's two and a half hours"

   turns out, Chanting "I'm not creepy" in front of a mirror doesn't make you feel any less creepy.

   schools are back in session. Remember if you study hard enough there will still be no jobs when you graduate.

   look, I'm only liking your status to let you know that I read it so you won't try to tell me about it later.

   Zuckerberg was going to steal your photos but saw that copyright status you posted and went back to having more money than you ever will.