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I Never Finish My Eraser Because It Is Either Stolen,Lost,or Cut In Half 
LeBron needs to eat a Snickers. He's playing like Betty White out there.
I wonder what Lebrons puppet is doing right now?
if I had a nickel for evertime I ignored your friends request, I could buy facebook with all my change..
I didn't fall , I attacked the floor.
I want to get a Henna tattoo that says "Forever"
Her bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that sh*t together with floss...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to f*ck cuz its not my time of month"
Ummmm, got drunk and tried to adopt a kid again...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagin@...
Dear Mr underccover police car, I like your 5 extra antennas...
Dude you should've seen this bathroom stall, it was like I had to clean up Heroshima before I could drop my Nagasaki.
if it is not on wikipedia, then you are wrong, lady
A loser and everything I post is stolen from "Text From Last Night"
if you're going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair.
my face is leaving in 10 minutes - be on it.
got excited when he had a "Group Request" in Facebook. Sadly though, it wasn't even close to the type of "groups" he had dreams about ..
how can I miss you if you won't go away?
loves when he adds a friend and that friend NEVER posts a message to me or anything....why did you even add me ya stoop 