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just drove passed a Budweiser Delivery truck wrecked on the side of the freeway, oh the humanity... I'd like a moment of silence please... 
Don't worry about people from your past, There's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.
My bank is the worst. They're charging me money for not having enough money in my account. Apparently, I can't even afford to be broke.
You call it poor parenting, I call it raising free range children.
Just had a customer call me for a quote, and he SANG me all his information..... so I sang back.. " ? If you're crazy and you know it take your pills! ?.... Didnt get the sale..
textually active
says Judge me all you want... just keep the verdict to yourself
is eating mushrooms and chasing white rabbits
out making some changes in hisher life...leave a message and I'll get back yo you. if I don't return your message your one of the changes!
I bought a pack of biscuits today and on it said "store in a cool place." So I sent them to Samuel Jacksons house.
has heard better comebacks from someone in a coma.
laying on his bed, looking up at the stars and wondering... WTF??? wheres my roof?
currently hiding and says " 'psst'... I stole the cookie.
wondering why the cookie monster is not made out of cookies.
Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life.
If a woman wants a man who can take orders, they should marry a waiter!
All of us are God's Creatures, Just Some are More Creatures Than Others !!!
do tree huggers buy toilet paper?
U know some people are like VIRUSES, they ENTER your LIFE, SCAN your POCKETS, TRANSFER your IDEAS, EDIT your MINDE, DOWNLOAD your HEART, and UPLOAD their PROBLEMS
Please Wait...My heart is now loading...20% completed.40% completed.80% completed.99.9% completed...Error! Error!..Something has interrupted the download. Please try again later. 