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In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man doesn't have to worry about people staring at his patch.
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11-15-2010 23:14 by
jdpower
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Russians have grossly misunderstood roulette. Someone needs to tell them it's gambling on numbers, not maybe killing yourself.
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11-15-2010 23:13 by
jdpower
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wants a full-body scan AND a pat-down! Mmmmm...
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11-15-2010 23:10
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I always wanted to read other people's minds, well now there's facebook where everyone just thinks out loud. Thank you facebook, the future is here.
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11-15-2010 23:04 by
@secretagent24
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So when your sexting...do you get a phoner?
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11-15-2010 23:02 by
ANGELA
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never make eye-contact with anyone while eating a banana
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11-15-2010 21:53
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my anger management class pisses me off..
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11-15-2010 21:47
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My mother now has Gchat. You will no longer know how inappropriate my thoughts are via status updates. Today my status is "I like studying and Jesus."
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11-15-2010 21:22
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learned that you should never say "boom" at the airport. looks like i'm missing my flight
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11-15-2010 21:00
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I like to spend my weekends at Burgerking pretending I'm on Man vs Food...
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11-15-2010 20:48 by
wendy rafferty
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A penny for my thoughts? Oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar. There worth so much more after I'm a goner and maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin, funny when your dead how people start listenen
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11-15-2010 20:41
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Alcohol does NOT make you fat...it makes you lean...against tables,chairs,walls, floors and ....Ugly people!!!
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11-15-2010 20:04 by
Liz
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Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
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11-15-2010 20:02 by
Liz
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If you pass after drinking Wild Turkey, just blame it on tryptophan.
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11-15-2010 20:01
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Why is Darth Vader called "Darth Vader"? Because "Master Vader" just sounds wrong.
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11-15-2010 20:00 by
@ambidextre
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i've yet to meet a woman who got pregnant from swallowing
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11-15-2010 20:00 by
beenhereb4
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MONDAYS ARE FOR MASOCHISTS. It's bleak and raining and there's not one dang cookie in the house.
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11-15-2010 19:53
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When I was younger I would make funny faces in the mirror. Now that I'm older the mirror is getting even! I hate that mirror!!!
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11-15-2010 19:26
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I had a recurring dream once !
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11-15-2010 19:24
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Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is
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11-15-2010 19:16 by
Esoteric
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