Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man doesn't have to worry about people staring at his patch.
←Rate | 11-15-2010 23:14 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Russians have grossly misunderstood roulette. Someone needs to tell them it's gambling on numbers, not maybe killing yourself.
←Rate | 11-15-2010 23:13 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants a full-body scan AND a pat-down! Mmmmm...
←Rate | 11-15-2010 23:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always wanted to read other people's minds, well now there's facebook where everyone just thinks out loud. Thank you facebook, the future is here.
←Rate | 11-15-2010 23:04 by @secretagent24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So when your sexting...do you get a phoner?
←Rate | 11-15-2010 23:02 by ANGELA Comments (1)  


   messageicon never make eye-contact with anyone while eating a banana
←Rate | 11-15-2010 21:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my anger management class pisses me off..
←Rate | 11-15-2010 21:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother now has Gchat. You will no longer know how inappropriate my thoughts are via status updates. Today my status is "I like studying and Jesus."
←Rate | 11-15-2010 21:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon learned that you should never say "boom" at the airport. looks like i'm missing my flight
←Rate | 11-15-2010 21:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to spend my weekends at Burgerking pretending I'm on Man vs Food...
←Rate | 11-15-2010 20:48 by wendy rafferty Comments (0)  


   messageicon A penny for my thoughts? Oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar. There worth so much more after I'm a goner and maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin, funny when your dead how people start listenen
←Rate | 11-15-2010 20:41 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Alcohol does NOT make you fat...it makes you lean...against tables,chairs,walls, floors and ....Ugly people!!!
←Rate | 11-15-2010 20:04 by Liz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
←Rate | 11-15-2010 20:02 by Liz Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you pass after drinking Wild Turkey, just blame it on tryptophan.
←Rate | 11-15-2010 20:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is Darth Vader called "Darth Vader"? Because "Master Vader" just sounds wrong.
←Rate | 11-15-2010 20:00 by @ambidextre Comments (0)  


   messageicon i've yet to meet a woman who got pregnant from swallowing
←Rate | 11-15-2010 20:00 by beenhereb4 Comments (3)  


   messageicon MONDAYS ARE FOR MASOCHISTS. It's bleak and raining and there's not one dang cookie in the house.
←Rate | 11-15-2010 19:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was younger I would make funny faces in the mirror. Now that I'm older the mirror is getting even! I hate that mirror!!!
←Rate | 11-15-2010 19:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had a recurring dream once !
←Rate | 11-15-2010 19:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is
←Rate | 11-15-2010 19:16 by Esoteric Comments (0)  



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