bego Funny Status Messages

   Some french fries are excellent, and other french fries are just an acceptable way to eat ketchup…

   A Life ?! Where can I download one of those?

   CANCEL CANCEL CANCEL!! *Message Sends* Kill me now

   I wouldn't have to manage my anger if people would manage their stupidity.

   Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

   I have this weird fetish where I like to sleep with attractive and smart women...

   The worst thing ever = that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

   The PT Cruiser is probably the most expensive form of birth control.

   Spice Girls reunite?!?! We have to ask... Which one would you bang?

   A woman will watch the game with you. The perfect woman will watch it on top of you.

   For the love of God, ASK me, don't AXE me!

   I always look around the bar to see what level of women are there before I decide what level of drunk I have to become.

   If the fate of humanity ever rests on me filling out an online survey, we're pretty much doomed.

   BEST EXCUSE: I didn't scream out someone else's name during sex. I was thinking of baby names in case you get pregnant...

   We all have that one friend with the hot sister everyone wants to get with.

   I never use the little twist ties to close a bag of bread...I just spin the bag and tuck it under the loaf of bread.

   I saw something that reminded me of you...but don't worry, I flushed the toilet and washed my hands.

   Fat chick posts a picture on Facebook* "Fresh out the shower (; " Me: "You spelled ocean wrong."

   If you take the vowels out of FEMALE you get FML. Coincidence? I think not

   Girls want a guy who is "funny and spontaneous", but when I tap on a girls window at night dressed as a clown, she flips out!