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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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If young girls ruled the world there would be no wars. They would be too busy obsessing about Twilight and Justin beiber to do anything violent.
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02-25-2011 17:58 by
JeremyCakes
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Just saw Dianna Ross on Oprah, wow I don't think I'll ever get an erection again
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02-25-2011 17:57 by
@daddybullfrog1
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They should just put a big ol' "Fu** You!" sign up beside the gas prices at the gas station...
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02-25-2011 17:41
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A smart man just marries the right woman, even if it does take him years to find her.
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02-25-2011 17:31 by
Emi
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Anyone else think Charlie Sheen snorted the fine line between recreational use and addiction?
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02-25-2011 17:21 by
M.A.C.
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Some people treat their body like a temple. I treat mine like a cookie jar.
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02-25-2011 16:54
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Scr*w you recommended serving size. You don't know me
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02-25-2011 16:32
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A SMART WOMEN spends all her husbands Money so he cannot Remarry, A SMART MAN makes more than his Wife can SPEND!!!
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02-25-2011 16:22
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Saw a sign at the hospital that said "Family Planning.... Use Rear Entrance". I thought it was good advice.
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02-25-2011 16:06
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I was googled Whine of the month club, and Wisconsin came up.
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02-25-2011 15:59 by
Jim Woodward
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Eskimos supposedly have 52 words for snow. That's weird, so does Charlie Sheen.
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02-25-2011 15:49 by
Dave
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The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail...
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02-25-2011 15:29
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Who would have thought that giving an actor with a history of drug addiction $2 million an episode would have turned out badly?
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02-25-2011 15:27 by
abbybaby34
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It's official I've finally been over notified.
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02-25-2011 15:26 by
abbybaby34
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Did I un-jam the copier? Yes. Does that make me a hero? Not for me to say. But probably.
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02-25-2011 15:26 by
abbybaby34
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Deleting all emails as they come in without reading them. Like a boss.
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02-25-2011 15:25 by
abbybaby34
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Apparently Cheryl Cole must drop her accent for the X-Factor to succeed in America. I reckon the show would work better if she dropped her knickers instead.
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02-25-2011 15:19 by
@clarkysj
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I've been trying to teach my mate how to play golf recently but the problem seems to be his drive. His wife stands on it and doesn't let us out.
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02-25-2011 15:17 by
@clarkysj
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Nobody touch me for 5 minutes and give me a cigarette...I just filled my tank at the gas station
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02-25-2011 14:31 by
jdestrada
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Then the psychiatrist's gave me the good news: I was going to have a disorder named after me..
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02-25-2011 14:26 by
Wolf
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