Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I named my iPod 'Titanic' so when I enter it in iTunes it says 'Syncing Titanic' and I feel like a H E R O when I press 'Cancel'
←Rate | 03-18-2011 23:48 by Sal Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why don't women take off their shirts before a fight like guys do?
←Rate | 03-18-2011 22:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Why is it that if a girl has sex with more than one guy she's a slut but if a guy has sex with more than one girl he's a legend?" The guy replies "If a lock can be opened by more than one key it's useless but if a key can open many locks its a master key
←Rate | 03-18-2011 21:51 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon As I slide down this bannister we call life, you, and you alone, are the splinter in my ass
←Rate | 03-18-2011 21:35 by cajunkorea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes you make the right decision, sometimes you make the decision right
←Rate | 03-18-2011 20:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon imagine if you got all the way home from the grocery store and realized you left sumpthing in the cart? then you gotta go ALL the way back to get yur kid? ugg that really bite
←Rate | 03-18-2011 19:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happiness is'nt getting what you want, it is wanting what you've got
←Rate | 03-18-2011 19:09 by Michael Askins Comments (0)  


   messageicon If youre cooler than me, doesnt that make me hotter than you?
←Rate | 03-18-2011 17:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Obama Nation sounds like Abomination coincidence hmmmmm……
←Rate | 03-18-2011 15:35 by gingercurtis Comments (0)  


   messageicon I found out I have CDO. It's like OCD, except the letters are in alphabetical order...like they should be
←Rate | 03-18-2011 13:36 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon People please!! It's not the end of the world. It's just the beginning of a new, glowing, ticking kind of world..
←Rate | 03-18-2011 13:30 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saint Patrick was born in Britain under Roman rule. He was captured by Irish pirates and forced to be a slave.
←Rate | 03-18-2011 13:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your Fat! and I'm not gonna sugar coat it cause you will eat that too!!!
←Rate | 03-18-2011 12:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why are there laws against texting while driving and drinking while driving... but not texting while drinking?
←Rate | 03-18-2011 12:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my oven doesn't need a self-cleaning mode; my *bathroom* needs a self-cleaning mode.
←Rate | 03-18-2011 11:00 by CS Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretending to be hungover today, so nobody at work gets the wrong impression of me...the last thing I want to be labled is a responsible adult...
←Rate | 03-18-2011 10:06 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon happy green vomit day!
←Rate | 03-18-2011 09:40 by levon Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering how the first prostate exam went..."hold on, you want to stick your finger where?!"
←Rate | 03-18-2011 09:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I'd like to see a drug commercial that says, "May cause extreme awesomeness."
←Rate | 03-18-2011 09:00 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon St. Patrick 1 - me 0
←Rate | 03-18-2011 08:53 by kingtut Comments (0)  



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