Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I said no to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
←Rate | 04-09-2011 02:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon boycotting shampoo and demanding real poo!
←Rate | 04-09-2011 02:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Computers are VERY educational devices... they teach people how to @#%$ cuss!
←Rate | 04-09-2011 02:49 by Philly Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon God created stupid people to keep us smart ones amused.
←Rate | 04-09-2011 02:18 by Philly Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon Food Network is like Porn...you always wanna try out what they are doing!
←Rate | 04-09-2011 00:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon it means no worries for the rest of your days. it's my problem-free philosophy. hakuna matata.
←Rate | 04-08-2011 23:42 by Dealbreaker Jones Comments (0)  


   messageicon Blanket on, too hot. Blanket off,too cold. One leg out, perfect,until the awkward moment when the demon from Paranormal Activity grabs it..
←Rate | 04-08-2011 22:21 by Seddy90 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When do you think Snooki gonna realize that she's a GRENADE?
←Rate | 04-08-2011 22:08 by Surge Yarmolyuk Comments (0)  


   messageicon This morning I put Red Bull into my coffee maker instead of water and now I can see noises.
←Rate | 04-08-2011 22:02 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Username or Password Incorrect” You couldn't just tell me which one?
←Rate | 04-08-2011 22:00 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon If this shutdown takes place, I say we get our troops home. Deploy the politicians. They're the ones getting paid, so let THEM leave their families and put their lives at risk every day. They would all be killed within 24 hours and then we can start over!
←Rate | 04-08-2011 20:50 by Liz Comments (0)  


   messageicon You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
←Rate | 04-08-2011 19:11 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
←Rate | 04-08-2011 19:08 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
←Rate | 04-08-2011 19:06 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon I made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if I failed the breathalyzer.
←Rate | 04-08-2011 19:05 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if I failed the breathalizer.
←Rate | 04-08-2011 19:01 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
←Rate | 04-08-2011 19:00 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God I love my boobs.
←Rate | 04-08-2011 18:55 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beware the disease Idiotitis. It causes the brain to shut down and the mouth to keep talking. Thousands are affected. May be contagious. Best defense: Just slap and run.
←Rate | 04-08-2011 18:43 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Ben Roethlisberger is actually getting married tomorrow----- I see no reason why Michael Vick cant own a dog!! :P
←Rate | 04-08-2011 18:07 by J Comments (0)  



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