Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4992 of 5594

   messageicon that akward moment when she pulls out one bigger than yours
←Rate | 04-17-2011 23:07 by eric Comments (0)  


   messageicon 64 tornados in North Carolina alone. Can we turn our attention to our own for once and send money to some Americans instead of Japan?
←Rate | 04-17-2011 23:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
←Rate | 04-17-2011 23:00 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon In the beginning of a relationship the men go into it thinking this might be fun...and the women go into it thinking this might be the one.
←Rate | 04-17-2011 22:51 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was watching an episode of hoarders last night and was thinking that they should change the name of it to ''i'm really lazy and I don't want to clean my house''!!!
←Rate | 04-17-2011 22:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes you want someone so bad, youll tell yourself lies &hope they come true.
←Rate | 04-17-2011 22:20 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know when you lean back in your chair and almost fall over??? I feel like THAT all the time...
←Rate | 04-17-2011 22:16 by Steve OH Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone say's "Let's do lunch", what they mean is "I don't care if I ever see your sorry azz again."
←Rate | 04-17-2011 22:12 by punkie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I get one more Farmville notification I'm going to strap my farmer with a flamethrower and start to decorate your farm.
←Rate | 04-17-2011 22:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wish I could Google anything. I`d search "WHERE THE HELL IS MY IPOD?" and it would be like "UNDER THE COUCH YOU DUMBASS"
←Rate | 04-17-2011 21:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon eating alphabet soup and my spoon spells 'HOT'. Not sure if I should take that as a warning or a compliment.
←Rate | 04-17-2011 19:08 by @mollyfaerie Comments (0)  


   messageicon NOTE TO MYSELF: "The security code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card."
←Rate | 04-17-2011 18:55 by punkie Comments (0)  


   messageicon having you ever eaten an apple with a worm in it? well buy an iphone and you will feel like that.
←Rate | 04-17-2011 18:41 by @iTechnoBoy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you know why rednecks like to "do it" doggy style? So they can both watch NASCAR.
←Rate | 04-17-2011 18:21 by punkie Comments (0)  


   messageicon What did the duck say to the prostitute? "Put it on my bill"
←Rate | 04-17-2011 18:11 by punkie Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her.
←Rate | 04-17-2011 18:10 by punkie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can so admit when I'm wrong! And when that time comes, I will do just that.
←Rate | 04-17-2011 17:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon dancing my cares away...down at Fraggle Rock!
←Rate | 04-17-2011 17:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when people complain someone posted the outcome of a sports event because they recorded it to watch later. If you don't want to know the score, then stay off the internet!!
←Rate | 04-17-2011 17:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I returned an online purchase and the form said for your security, please use Fedex, UPS, USPS, DHL or Parcel Post. Exactly what other options do they think I'm considering: Horse? Catapult? Tooth Fairy? Santa?
←Rate | 04-17-2011 16:50 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left