Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Remembers the time when we memorized phone numbers of our friends, family, and spouses. Now we can't even remember our parents' numbers without looking down at the phone.
←Rate | 04-17-2011 13:47 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I see someone type "prom", I initially read it as "porn". Thanks internet!
←Rate | 04-17-2011 12:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Brothers and sisters fighting is as natural as a white mans dialogue in a Spike Lee movie.
←Rate | 04-17-2011 11:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be yourself. Who else is better qualified.
←Rate | 04-17-2011 11:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit.
←Rate | 04-17-2011 11:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
←Rate | 04-17-2011 11:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the Husband, sharks for the husbands mother.
←Rate | 04-17-2011 11:04 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you remember that time we were on the school bus and you had your head out the window and I had my a$$ out the window and everyone thought we were twins?
←Rate | 04-17-2011 09:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I slept like a baby last night,,,,of course minus the peeing and pooping on myself.......
←Rate | 04-17-2011 09:05 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon One of the high points about me working Sunday mornings...is reading the status updates people post after a night of drinking!
←Rate | 04-17-2011 08:08 by instructor4802 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its Sunday....Sunday. It comes after Saturday!!!!
←Rate | 04-17-2011 07:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy PALM Sunday to All Singles out there!!
←Rate | 04-17-2011 06:25 by john15xxx Comments (1)  


   messageicon I love in horror movies how the person yells out "hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "yeah I'm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"
←Rate | 04-17-2011 05:50 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do not follow where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
←Rate | 04-17-2011 02:18 by Brent Andersson Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is an "A" and "B" conversation, so "C" your way out before "D" jumps over "E" and "F"'s you up like a "G" :)
←Rate | 04-17-2011 00:26 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon To all single men out there, NO, Plam Sunday is NOT like a Valentine's Day for you and your palm.
←Rate | 04-17-2011 00:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just watch a damn naked Chinese man run into a wall at full speed with a hard on. He broke his nose.
←Rate | 04-17-2011 00:07 by BEGO Comments (1)  


   messageicon people will damn believe anything if you whisper it.
←Rate | 04-16-2011 23:45 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a transvesite goes missing, would you put their face on a carton of Half and Half Milk?
←Rate | 04-16-2011 23:28 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wifes new nickname is Karma
←Rate | 04-16-2011 22:57 by Tim Comments (0)  



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