Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Funny Status Messages
|
Recent Comments
|
Submit a Status Message
Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
View All Funny Status Messages
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Trump Filter:
ON
|
OFF
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
4980
4981
4982
4983
4984
4985
4986
4987
5577
Next»
Page: 4984 of 5577
My probation officer didn't check on me tonight.....THUG LIFE
18
28
←Rate |
03-28-2011 21:25
Comments (
0
)
You know in the future its gonna be pretty common too say, "So grandma how many tattoos do you have?"
119
21
←Rate |
03-28-2011 20:25 by
bryan j brown
Comments (
0
)
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job..... slowly raise your head and say "in Jesus name, amen".
51
44
←Rate |
03-28-2011 19:22 by
brandy
Comments (
0
)
Me have safe sex? You kiddin? My girlfriends idea of safe sex is locking the car doors..
28
8
←Rate |
03-28-2011 19:10
Comments (
1
)
When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, “Give me a table near a waiter.”
50
11
←Rate |
03-28-2011 18:51 by
Danny
Comments (
0
)
wonders...if you were a hotdog, and you were starvin', would you eat yourself?
7
30
←Rate |
03-28-2011 16:57 by
mntnbikerbw
Comments (
0
)
Have you ever eaten a Hot Dog backwards?
84
17
←Rate |
03-28-2011 16:16 by
JimmyCos
Comments (
0
)
Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Me neither..but it's a good way to break the ice!
11
25
←Rate |
03-28-2011 16:14 by
Raven
Comments (
0
)
People better watch their P's & Q's before I start handing out F's and U's...
59
11
←Rate |
03-28-2011 15:43
Comments (
0
)
: Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, cause I'm the baddest SOB in the valley!
26
21
←Rate |
03-28-2011 15:23 by
Surrealistic Chaos
Comments (
0
)
surrounded by askholes today... yes, "askholes" as in people who constantly ask you stupid questions.
186
33
←Rate |
03-28-2011 15:07 by
@The69Sheriff
Comments (
0
)
Jennifer Aniston has the emotional range of the volleyball in "Cast Away" & the comedic timing of a syphilis outbreak.
14
28
←Rate |
03-28-2011 15:06 by
GRRRRLISME
Comments (
0
)
Winter: It's like the crazy murderer in a horror movie. Just when you think it's dead, it strikes one last time.
79
13
←Rate |
03-28-2011 15:00 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
Pretending to be a functioning adult is exhausting.
152
27
←Rate |
03-28-2011 14:57
Comments (
0
)
Love is standing on wet cement. The longer you stay, the harder it is to leave and you can never let go without leaving your footprints.
44
9
←Rate |
03-28-2011 14:54
Comments (
0
)
IRONY,too much Alcohol on a night out causes the loss of the ability to remember, think & reason....
4
16
←Rate |
03-28-2011 14:50
Comments (
0
)
Alcohol is an Anti-inflammatory & raises good HDL Cholesterol, which helps ward off Dementia....
10
8
←Rate |
03-28-2011 14:50
Comments (
0
)
Wonders what the 1st person that ate a pineapple was thinking... Hmmm that's a funny looking thing, I believe I'll eat it.
13
18
←Rate |
03-28-2011 14:49
Comments (
0
)
One of the best feelings in the world is waking up to your room feeling like it's Alaska and you're under 8 layers of blanket.
78
14
←Rate |
03-28-2011 14:47 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
Alcohol is an Anti-inflammatory & raises good HDL Cholesterol, which helps ward off Dementia.
2
6
←Rate |
03-28-2011 14:37
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
4980
4981
4982
4983
4984
4985
4986
4987
5577
Next»
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com