Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Nothing like an old high school crush finding you & friending you on Facebook because he needs cows or some crap for Farmville.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 17:23 by BEGO Comments (1)  


   messageicon Dude is texting with a flip phone, just like George Washington did.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 17:15 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hard work never killed anybody, but it does keep you off Facebook
←Rate | 04-20-2011 17:13 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook should allow you to automatically de-friend your ex from all of your friends.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 17:13 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought, "Wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes...
←Rate | 04-20-2011 17:12 by Marshall the Great Comments (2)  


   messageicon When I do something stupid, my first thought is whether it would make a funny story or I should take it to my grave.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 17:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon To the person that first took a Peanut, covered it with Chocolate and a Candy Coat and Stamped a "M" on it....THANK YOU!!!
←Rate | 04-20-2011 16:38 by greg2missy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is 4/21 National Employer Random Drug Testing Day?
←Rate | 04-20-2011 16:24 by Keith Albert Comments (1)  


   messageicon I think it's safe to admit that my Retirement Plan consists solely of me acquiring a Time Machine and knocking Biff out in the parking lot.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 16:22 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon A fool and his money are soon dating women way too good looking for him.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 15:40 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Try NOT. Do…or do not. There is no try. ~ Master Yoda (Star Wars)
←Rate | 04-20-2011 15:39 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies... As long as I have a face, you have a place to sit on. : p
←Rate | 04-20-2011 15:21 by nookie Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's a lot easier to get over someone when you realize that you shouldn't have been underneath them in the first place.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 15:20 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon 4/20 is the day that some of you celebrate smokin dope. 4/21 is the day your employer (If you have one) celebrates random drug testing!
←Rate | 04-20-2011 15:05 by John Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thank goodness the weather has gotten nice for once. I was getting sick of hearing people complain about the cold. Now I'm ready for people to start complaining about it being too hot. Whine people....whine!!
←Rate | 04-20-2011 14:55 by DooDoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon My divorce judge told me I needed to supply my xwife with a vehicle, I just UPSD'd her a broom
←Rate | 04-20-2011 14:30 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm dragging ass today. I don't know how dogs wipe like this, it hurts like hell.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 14:21 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon First of all bro if you want to have a more manly image, you need to ditch the zebra stripe seatcovers.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 14:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dr. Dre has changed the name of his album from Detox to Unicorn. We can only assume it's because it's something that no one is ever gonna actually see
←Rate | 04-20-2011 14:15 by Q Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!!! Happy 4/20
←Rate | 04-20-2011 13:38 Comments (0)  



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