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greg2missy Funny Status Messages
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Finally figured out what women want...SECURITY!!!......(At least that's what they all yell when I try to talk to them...)
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09-14-2010 15:13 by
greg2missy
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i wish I could pick which brain cells the alcohol kills....There's ALOT of crap I wish I could forget about.....
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03-06-2013 09:37 by
greg2missy
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Want World Peace?? Replace oxygen with Helium. Who could stay mad at someone that sounds like a Chipmunk?!?
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07-11-2010 10:44 by
greg2missy
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Drag racing would be a lot more fun if I didn't have to wear a dress.
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07-31-2010 16:49 by
greg2missy
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Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
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09-24-2010 21:52 by
greg2missy
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"Except For Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism and Communism, WAR has Never Solved Anything"
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06-30-2010 23:44 by
greg2missy
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I wonder if the person who invented trail mix actually discovered it when they were cleaning out their car and moved their kids' car seats.
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11-18-2011 22:04 by
greg2missy
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2 words have opened alot of doors for me....Push and Pull....
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09-12-2010 13:06 by
greg2missy
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Apparently there's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
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09-24-2010 21:59 by
greg2missy
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Black History Month reminded me that Peanut Butter was invented by a black guy...I Assume "Chunky" was in reference to his White Girlfriend...
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02-05-2011 12:07 by
greg2missy
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Today I told my car it's okay for it to tell me if it's a transformer. It didn't answer. I figure it's just waiting for the right moment.
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12-16-2010 13:36 by
greg2missy
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You know the person on the other end of the phone is comfortable with you when you can hear the toilet flushing.....
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06-10-2011 13:04 by
greg2missy
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Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
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09-24-2010 21:58 by
greg2missy
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I'm always hearing stories of people posting "Inappropriate" pics on Facebook....Why are none of YOU showing me nude pics my friends????
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09-24-2010 21:35 by
greg2missy
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OK...I have 20 Bowls and 20 Lids...Not NONE of the dang things match!!
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09-09-2010 19:25 by
greg2missy
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To the person that first took a Peanut, covered it with Chocolate and a Candy Coat and Stamped a "M" on it....THANK YOU!!!
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04-20-2011 16:38 by
greg2missy
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I heard there was a perfect woman at every corner of the world....Unfortunately, the world is ROUND!!!!
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08-15-2010 20:08 by
greg2missy
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Maybe Adam should have spent more than just a rib......Just saying...
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06-15-2010 22:52 by
greg2missy
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Wishing I knew all my Facebook friends....Some seem pretty cool...Sure hope I meet them someday....
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07-22-2010 08:56 by
greg2missy
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Her: The trash needs taken' out....Me (pushing trash down): NOPE, it's good!!
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09-09-2011 09:39 by
greg2missy
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