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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas" The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found" Well played, ninjas, well played
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04-03-2011 02:49 by
Destiny
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Why do men think women are so complicated ?? All you have to do is give us chocolate, tell us we're pretty, and assume everything we say is right
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04-03-2011 02:39
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I'm kinda like pizza - even when I'm bad I'm good!
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04-03-2011 02:06 by
BONNIE
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diputs leef uoy edam I sey <--Now read it backwords
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04-03-2011 01:27
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When being chased by police, you're best chance is to throw the passenger out the window. They will most likely stop for them, so you can get away.
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04-03-2011 01:19
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Hey, Don't blame me, I voted for the white dude!
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04-03-2011 01:01 by
Destiny
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I'm a cowgirl...and you can be my cowboy...but only if you wear levis..cus wranglers strangle the boys
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04-03-2011 00:49
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Just found out that if you bake ice cream it does NOT make ice cream cake
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04-02-2011 22:50 by
Destiny
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I'm pretty Fry for a Rice guy.
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04-02-2011 22:41 by
Destiny
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90 people have swine flu(H1N1), and everyone wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS and nobody wants to wear a condom
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04-02-2011 22:39 by
Destiny
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If politicians are the answer, then it must have been a damn stupid question
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04-02-2011 22:38 by
Destiny
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Whoever said 'Laughter is a medicine with no side effects' obviously never pee'd themselves from laughing
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04-02-2011 22:37 by
Destiny
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I refuse to jump on the 'I hate Mondays' bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally
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04-02-2011 22:36 by
Destiny
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when a stripper asks you to beat the hard level on angry birds you DO IT!!!!!
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04-02-2011 22:35 by
SlowMotionNinja
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"If you spare the rod and you spoil the child"... More like if you spare the rod, there is no child.
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04-02-2011 21:39
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whiskey: the official beverage of the FML
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04-02-2011 20:03 by
Destiny
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Going clubbing. ok, it's just to Sam's Club, but I'm trying to make it more glam.
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04-02-2011 20:02 by
Destiny
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Ohhh! who lives in the kitchen, chained to the sink? Sponge mom sweatpants!
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04-02-2011 20:00 by
Destiny
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doing laundry. nothing says "I love you" like clean underwear.
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04-02-2011 19:59 by
Destiny
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The "b" in the word "subtle" sure is dumb.
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04-02-2011 19:57 by
Destiny
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