BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Please don't dress like a slut unless you're really a slut...It's very confusing to us guys.

   EX means: Thanks for the EXperience, Our time has EXpired, now EXit my life..

   Oh look, it's raining outside. I think I'll go on Facebook and update all my friends that don't have a window of their own.

   No mom, you're mad because you're wrong, not because I'm talking back...

   When you mess up a guy's hair, he thinks it's cute, but when you mess up a girl's hair... just hope you're wearing something bulletproof.

   Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is easily the worst thing to happen to President Lincoln in a theatre.

   Let me ruin your favorite song by playing 15 times a day, 7 days a week!” – The Radio.

   If your status update contains the words, “I know 99% of you won't repost this,” there is a 99% chance you're an idiot.

   Top ten things men understand about women. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

   I'm on Twitter because my family is on Facebook.

   Beers should come with a "May reverse bros before hoes" warning.

   My I.Q. goes from 125 to about 14 when there's a hot girl around.

   Describing yourself as a "morning person" translates to me that you are a fu$king as$hole.

   It's amazing how alcohol can make you do so many stupid things on your smart phone.

   Why does your need to pee intensify by a million when you are trying to unlock the door to your house?

   I rather have an enemy who admits they hate me, instead of a friend who secretly put me down.

   Someone once ask me how I hold my head up so high after all I've been through. I said, as long as I come out of it alive, it makes me a survivor, not a victim.

   Why isn't “cheating” a relationship status on Facebook?

   The 3 scariest words your girlfriend can ever say to you... "notice anything different?"

   Just took the batteries out of my smoke detector to use in my TV remote control. Dont judge me.