Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon The Rapture will begin this saturday let those who believe be killed by rocks and sticks the day after by thugs like me!
←Rate | 05-20-2011 05:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders, what would happen if a witness was sworn in, asked to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth and the answer came out from his mouth is no?
←Rate | 05-20-2011 05:27 by kishen alex raj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Imagine living with 3 wives and never leaving the house for 5 whole years... Now, don't YOU think Osama called the US Navy Seals himself.?
←Rate | 05-20-2011 05:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if I don't answer my phone .. it's probably cause I am dancing to the ring tone
←Rate | 05-20-2011 05:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Notice in a Library: " While reading the kamasutra , please hold the book with both Hands."
←Rate | 05-20-2011 05:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's Been A Tough Few Years For The Ocean, we've had the oil spill, the Japan radiation, and now "Hey! Mind if we put Bin Laden there too?!"
←Rate | 05-20-2011 00:54 by hovo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just told AT&T that I'd make a payment on my cell phone Sunday, so I'm really banking on this rapture sh*t..
←Rate | 05-20-2011 00:51 by hovo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've got 99 problems and I'm not dealing with any of them (Lay-Z)
←Rate | 05-20-2011 00:49 by hovo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone needs to tell Dominique Strauss-Kahn that in this country bankers are only allowed to screw their customers.
←Rate | 05-20-2011 00:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ex-teammate says Lance Armstrong used PED's...I think I speak for everyone when I say "You didn't know till now?"
←Rate | 05-19-2011 22:48 by DaveB1191 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Facebook ever shut down, you'd see people aimlessly walking round streets, scribbling on walls, poking each other, searching for their friends, thumbs-upping and commenting at everything they see and tagging one another.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 22:44 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon When Facebook starts showing how many times you viewed somebody\'s profile, were all damn screwed.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 22:41 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Send a Hallmark Card to my EX: ""I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here
←Rate | 05-19-2011 22:29 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stupid Question: When people see you lying down with your eyes closed they still ask: "Are you sleeping?" Smartass Answer - "No, I'm training to die!"
←Rate | 05-19-2011 22:29 by tonez Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is impossible to look cool while holding onto a leash attached to a dog who is taking a crap.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 22:25 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't leave voicemails because I know they aren't listened to. Yet, if someone calls me and doesn't leave one, my first thought is that it wasn't important enough for me to call them back.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 22:22 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what would happen if a witness is asked to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth and they say no?
←Rate | 05-19-2011 22:17 by BEGO Comments (1)  


   messageicon I feel like when someone in a heated argument turns to me and says "You agree with me right?" What they are really asking is "Am I going to have to yell at you like this dumbass over here?"
←Rate | 05-19-2011 22:15 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saying, "Hang on, I can't hear you!" while I'm in the bathroom is not my way of telling you, "Please talk louder." Just give me a freaking minute.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 22:14 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it that I can't bounce a tic tac on my pencil...
←Rate | 05-19-2011 21:48 by Ikanndee Comments (0)  



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