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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up it's the same thing as having a kidnapper tell you to keep in touch.
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05-30-2011 01:12 by
Marshall the Great
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There should be an eject button in cars for people who touch your perfectly-positioned vents.
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05-30-2011 01:09 by
Marshall the Great
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You ever hear or see a friend do something and think "Oh yeah, that's a Facebook status." Yeah, me too.
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05-29-2011 23:37
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Have you ever noticed that the only people who wear jogging suits are well over 200 pounds and obviously never jog — unless a buffet is in sight?
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05-29-2011 23:21 by
BEGO
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I don't confront people. I was raised right. I talk stuff behind their backs. It's called manners.
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05-29-2011 23:19 by
BEGO
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I say "DUDE" right before I say something moderately important.
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05-29-2011 22:07 by
spidey man
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i think I need glasses....everywhere I look people have two faces
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05-29-2011 20:41 by
Edstatus
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I wish they made Off Clip On Repellent for creepy people at WalMart
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05-29-2011 19:23 by
hihuggiehi
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Chickens: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
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05-29-2011 18:52 by
Seddy90
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November 8th 2011: Call of Duty: MW3 + Alcohol + Women = A Night to Remember
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05-29-2011 17:02 by
Danmanz
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Ignorance is bliss, would explain why I'm so miserable.
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05-29-2011 15:13
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I like that you like my status. Facebook needs a button for that.
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05-29-2011 15:09
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next time I see a place that says no shirt no shoes no service I'm gunna walk in without pants
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05-29-2011 15:01
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Dear Google, They are only using you to get to me! Sincerely, Wikipedia.
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05-29-2011 14:51
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The difference between Obama and Osama is BS.
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05-29-2011 14:34 by
Seddy90
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BoyfriEND, girlfriEND, friEND. Everything has an END, except family.
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05-29-2011 14:31 by
Seddy90
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No sport in this lifetime has ever brought the world together as football... You know, the real kind, not the overcommercialized self nominated world championship superbowl.... FUTBOL!!
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05-29-2011 14:28
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If people winked in real life as much as they wink in texts, the world would be an extremely creepy place.
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05-29-2011 10:13 by
@iTechnoBoy
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Whether they find a life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an enemy planet.
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05-29-2011 10:12 by
Jack H
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I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
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05-29-2011 10:11 by
Jack H
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