Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up it's the same thing as having a kidnapper tell you to keep in touch.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 01:12 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon There should be an eject button in cars for people who touch your perfectly-positioned vents.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 01:09 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You ever hear or see a friend do something and think "Oh yeah, that's a Facebook status." Yeah, me too.
←Rate | 05-29-2011 23:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever noticed that the only people who wear jogging suits are well over 200 pounds and obviously never jog — unless a buffet is in sight?
←Rate | 05-29-2011 23:21 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't confront people. I was raised right. I talk stuff behind their backs. It's called manners.
←Rate | 05-29-2011 23:19 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I say "DUDE" right before I say something moderately important.
←Rate | 05-29-2011 22:07 by spidey man Comments (0)  


   messageicon i think I need glasses....everywhere I look people have two faces
←Rate | 05-29-2011 20:41 by Edstatus Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish they made Off Clip On Repellent for creepy people at WalMart
←Rate | 05-29-2011 19:23 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chickens: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
←Rate | 05-29-2011 18:52 by Seddy90 Comments (0)  


   messageicon November 8th 2011: Call of Duty: MW3 + Alcohol + Women = A Night to Remember
←Rate | 05-29-2011 17:02 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ignorance is bliss, would explain why I'm so miserable.
←Rate | 05-29-2011 15:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like that you like my status. Facebook needs a button for that.
←Rate | 05-29-2011 15:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon next time I see a place that says no shirt no shoes no service I'm gunna walk in without pants
←Rate | 05-29-2011 15:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Google, They are only using you to get to me! Sincerely, Wikipedia.
←Rate | 05-29-2011 14:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The difference between Obama and Osama is BS.
←Rate | 05-29-2011 14:34 by Seddy90 Comments (0)  


   messageicon BoyfriEND, girlfriEND, friEND. Everything has an END, except family.
←Rate | 05-29-2011 14:31 by Seddy90 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No sport in this lifetime has ever brought the world together as football... You know, the real kind, not the overcommercialized self nominated world championship superbowl.... FUTBOL!!
←Rate | 05-29-2011 14:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If people winked in real life as much as they wink in texts, the world would be an extremely creepy place.
←Rate | 05-29-2011 10:13 by @iTechnoBoy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whether they find a life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an enemy planet.
←Rate | 05-29-2011 10:12 by Jack H Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
←Rate | 05-29-2011 10:11 by Jack H Comments (0)  



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