Funny Status Messages

   afraid to go to work, my couch seems to be suffering from separation anxiety!

   Weiner's press conference was long and hard, but he finally whipped out his resignation after beating around the bush for a few minutes, effectively penetrating the crux of the situation and bringing the story to an explosive climax...

   I wonder why Representative Weiner is waiting so long to pull out?

   Thought I was having deja-vu but it turns out I do the exact same things every day

   these sports status suck....like your hairy chest mom ....

   At least someone's using the parade route they've had mapped out every year since '04...

   Dear Vancouver: Did your rioting get your Canucks the Stanley Cup? No? That's what I thought.

   Seriously Vancouver? Riots after you LOST a game? Wouldn't that be like smashing your laptop into pieces because you lost a game in solitaire?

   The riots in Vancouver have taught this American a valuable lesson. That Canada is in fact a real place, and apparently flammable.

   Dear Vancouver: Don't riot because the Stanley Cup Champions aren't Canadians. Riot because Nickelback are Canadians....

   The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So...why learn?

   CANADA - Crying About Never Actually Defeating Americans 

   I'm convinced some of the news editors are getting a kick out of the weiner headlines: Anthony Weiner to resign: The congressman's rise and fall... (NY Daily News)

   wish Carlin was still here so I could hear his wiener jokes...

   Relationship Status: Committed to remaining single

   I'm praying Weiner gets his blood flowing and comes back bigger and harder than ever after all this.......

   Sometimes I fight with my Bf just for the make up sex..

   I am going to celebrate 2 Pac's Birthday today with a 12 pac.

   BREAKING NEWS: Rep. Weiner pulls out and resigns.

   Fran Drescher recently divorced her husband of 18 years because she found out he was gay..Does this really need a punchline?