Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Lesson of the Day: This is your ass (_._) This is your ass on prison (_O_) . Any questions? Just say no to crime!
←Rate | 06-18-2011 17:40 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll be starting group meetings at my house for people with OCD. Not because I have it, but because I know someone will get the urge to clean up my damm house! OCD'ers...Cheaper than maid service!
←Rate | 06-18-2011 17:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The longer I sit in a drive-thru, the more pennies I'm gonna pay with.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 17:32 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just hooked up with a woman whose ass has dimples. This is gonna be an interesting night. Goodnight everybody.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 16:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have written a list of all the good and bad things I wanna do tonight. And you are number one on both sides.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 15:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The bigger the sunglasses, the crazier the chic.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 15:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think one reason they call them "Relaxed Fit" jeans is that "Ass The Size of Texas" jeans would not sell very well.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 15:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I will be hosting the next meeting of the Somerset Time Travel club. It will be held Wednesday of last week. We will be serving breakfast for supper. Please plan to attend! We really missed you next week.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 15:02 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon seeing all these profile pics of old men in honor of Father's Day is giving me the creeps. My wall looks more like a list of sex offenders..
←Rate | 06-18-2011 13:25 by me Comments (1)  


   messageicon what you're awesome at black ops? wow, dedication and no life right there
←Rate | 06-18-2011 11:27 by gee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I give women the respect they deserve.............Oh, and by the way, I call my d*ck "respect" :-)
←Rate | 06-18-2011 11:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When your last name is Weiner, don't get caught doing things with your weiner.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 10:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Baby, you are my number one, even my number two knows that.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 10:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's all fun and games...unless there's cookies, then it's serious
←Rate | 06-18-2011 09:42 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what happens to facebook accounts of people who pass away.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 09:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey K-Mac you dumbass. People walking across the street have the right away. Damn teenagers
←Rate | 06-18-2011 09:10 by Your Mother Comments (0)  


   messageicon I here Weiner is on suicide watch. Someone's afraid he's gonna choke himself to death.........
←Rate | 06-18-2011 08:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It seems like nothing really changes. Yet when you look back, everything is different. I must have blacked out again.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 07:56 by Lonagan Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dog ate a condom last night. Try explaining THAT to the Vet as it's hanging halfway out of his arse!
←Rate | 06-18-2011 06:18 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only rule when a Genie grants you a wish is that you cannot wish for more wishes. Think outside the Box and wish for more Genies. The moral is that, every situation has a loop hole
←Rate | 06-18-2011 05:54 by flinnie Comments (0)  



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