Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon If "graphic pictures" will be required on cigarette packs, then I want to see graphic pics of ugly babies on condoms and ugly chicks WITHOUT goggles on beer bottles.
←Rate | 06-21-2011 23:17 by Carol Costello Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do they try to make pet food in TV commercials look good to humans?
←Rate | 06-21-2011 22:29 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Our relationship was like the Fourth of July. It started with fireworks but was over by the end of the night.
←Rate | 06-21-2011 22:21 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon B**ch please. Don't confuse hate with jealousy.
←Rate | 06-21-2011 22:19 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are worse things than waking up on the wrong side of the bed. You could wake up on the right side of the bed with the wrong person.
←Rate | 06-21-2011 22:16 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon A lapdance is so much better when the stripper is cryin.
←Rate | 06-21-2011 21:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Insanity means never having to say “I'm Guilty”.
←Rate | 06-21-2011 21:58 by J. BIAZA Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife decided to take up violin with good intentions but she couldn't decide which chin to rest it on
←Rate | 06-21-2011 20:56 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon honestly believes girls are like parking spaces...good ones are already taken! and the ones left over are handicapped
←Rate | 06-21-2011 20:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best medicine in the world is a mother's hug
←Rate | 06-21-2011 19:54 by Surge yarmolyuk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its amazing how something so small can feel so good. Q-tips.
←Rate | 06-21-2011 19:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I wasn't drunk!!" "Dude, you were in my pool trying to find Nemo" ·
←Rate | 06-21-2011 19:49 by Surge Yarmolyuk Comments (0)  


   messageicon 'I wasn't that drunk' Dude, you threw my hamster shouting GO Pikachu.
←Rate | 06-21-2011 19:47 by Surge Yarmolyuk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Samsung infuse 4G AT&T comercial, with The Lady SCREAMING and the guy Beating the phone with his shoe... Please Hit yourself in the head with a hammer. Thank you
←Rate | 06-21-2011 19:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tone Loc accused of domestic violence???...gonna be gettin' served that Funky Cold Subpoena...
←Rate | 06-21-2011 18:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guy walks out of the restroom, Girl says:"Sir your garage door is open", Guy asks:"Did you see my Harley", Girl says:"No, I saw a mini bike with two flat tires"
←Rate | 06-21-2011 17:19 by Rudi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tried an experiment last night I took 3 Caffeine Pills and 3 Tylenol PM's to see who would win, ya caffeine won. I been up for 30 hours.
←Rate | 06-21-2011 16:55 by @youlivnlearn Comments (0)  


   messageicon Condom says to the tampon, "You put me out of a job for 1 week a month!" The tampon replies, "When you don't do your job properly, I lose mine for 9 months!"
←Rate | 06-21-2011 16:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After handing cashiers money, I like to caress their hand just to let them know that all sales don't have to be final.
←Rate | 06-21-2011 16:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon there is a big diffrence when a boy and a girl says "i went through a box of tissue watching a movie"
←Rate | 06-21-2011 16:29 Comments (0)  



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