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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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If you can listen to Phil Collins "In the air tonight" and not play the air drums, then you my friend have no soul!
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06-20-2011 06:01 by
flinnie
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I question the marketing department at car dealerships. Does anyone drive by and say "Look balloons! I gotta buy a car!"
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06-20-2011 05:52 by
flinnie
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Rihanna sings about how chains and whips excite her. I wonder if her ancestors felt the same way!
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06-20-2011 05:38 by
flinnie
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I was going to say whats on my mind but @Kanye West showed up and took away the keyboard! What a jackass...
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06-20-2011 04:29
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Everybody should have a friend who stutters... its like having your own personal dj...
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06-20-2011 03:11
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I'm seeing alot of lesbian couples with kids. This tells me that men needa start making better fathers than women. Quit slackin fellas.
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06-20-2011 02:32
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When I run for president, if you vote for me i'll make it so homeless people can't have dogs anymore.
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06-20-2011 02:32
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If the address on your id and the address where you live are one and the same then you ain't my type of people
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06-20-2011 02:24
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Watching Miss USA pageant. My heart says Miss California but my penis is rooting for Miss Hawaii.
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06-20-2011 01:52 | Tags: Filtered
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I use my cellphone as a flashlight, and hit random buttons to keep it lit.
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06-20-2011 01:49
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Saving a file as "dyjjyggffj", because I'm too lazy to write a proper name.
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06-20-2011 01:08
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For most things there's MasterCard For everything else there's Vodka
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06-20-2011 00:47
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OMG! Maury Povich just pulled up with a camera crew.. My fathers day just got complicated.
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06-19-2011 22:02 by
Lonagan
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Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when the person across the aisle is reading it?
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06-19-2011 21:35 by
BEGO
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I'm pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.
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06-19-2011 21:27 by
BEGO
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A man's life is spent between episodes of women being mad at him.
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06-19-2011 21:25 by
BEGO
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Teenagers are the most misunderstood people on the planet. They're treated like children, and expected to act like adults.
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06-19-2011 21:17 by
BEGO
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Al Qaeda has a new leader, may a new round of hide and seek begin
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06-19-2011 21:14
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I'll never forget from my EX last words: "Are you sure I don't need a parachute?"
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06-19-2011 21:11 by
BEGO
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How come the week always lasts longer than the money you have?
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06-19-2011 21:09 by
BEGO
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