Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Did you know that if you hit someone in the rear that you are at automatic fault? If you honk your horn .01 seconds after the light turns green, then I hope you can back up faster than I can.
←Rate | 07-12-2011 13:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't believe I had the pleasure of meeting you, I mean I got your friend request, and accepted, greeted you, never heard from you! On the other hand, I do believe I'll have the pleasure of deleting you, that is certain.
←Rate | 07-12-2011 13:12 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the point of the Psychic Hotline if they won't tell me where my other shoe is?!?
←Rate | 07-12-2011 13:12 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just read that the Actor who plays Draco Malfoy in Harry Potter said he is going to become a rapper! .... can we all say Expecto Disapointmento!
←Rate | 07-12-2011 13:11 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Either I'm really drunk or you're really hot. The choice is yours.
←Rate | 07-12-2011 13:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I recommend you chickens learn to talk. Nobody ever said, "Let's go get a bucket of parrot."
←Rate | 07-12-2011 13:08 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I sense that some one is talking down to me I like to see just how dumb I can act.
←Rate | 07-12-2011 13:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess Amish people have to just yell out their status updates... so sad.
←Rate | 07-12-2011 12:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is dangerous: You could slip in the shower, get hit by a bus, mauled by a bear or drown in breasts (it happens, look it up).
←Rate | 07-12-2011 12:44 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can see movies at any time, I'd rather have BOOZE on demand...
←Rate | 07-12-2011 12:40 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you know how much more gas mileage my car would get if it didn't have to haul my fat ass around?
←Rate | 07-12-2011 12:20 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did Nostradamus get it wrong with his predictions and predict the end of the News of the World?
←Rate | 07-12-2011 12:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not talented enough to type and pick my nose at the same time.
←Rate | 07-12-2011 11:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tattoos are bumper stickers for the soul.
←Rate | 07-12-2011 11:38 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The stuff I never tell anyone is so much more awesome than the stuff I tell everyone.
←Rate | 07-12-2011 11:36 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was the Director of NASA, I would make all of the ground crew dress up as Apes when the space shuttle Atlantis lands just to screw with them....now that would make a good movie...
←Rate | 07-12-2011 10:50 by gator Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't piss me off and then tell me to calm down. That's just like stabbing someone and then asking them not to bleed.
←Rate | 07-12-2011 10:20 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you wink constantly while you're committing a crime, you cannot be arrested for it.
←Rate | 07-12-2011 09:57 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Regular a** (_!_) fat a** (__!__) tight a** (!) dumba** (_?_)
←Rate | 07-12-2011 09:44 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
←Rate | 07-12-2011 09:29 by WhiplashWally Comments (0)  



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