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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Please, smart people, stop getting out of jury duty.
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07-06-2011 14:06 by
Marshall the Great
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I hope the penalty for providing false information to law enforcement officers includes sterilization.
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07-06-2011 14:05 by
Marshall the Great
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You may be an open book but I'm a bit more complicated than that. The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma
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07-06-2011 14:04 by
jdirt
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Nothing changes a Facebook relationship status faster than a weekend full of tagged photos.
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07-06-2011 14:04 by
Marshall the Great
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Oh good, now we can SEE the years haven't been good to that person we haven't talked to since high school...thanks Mark!
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07-06-2011 14:01 by
Mike D
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Tough times never last but tough people do
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07-06-2011 13:59 by
jdirt
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That feeling you get when you know whats going to happen at the end of a scary movie but yet you still bite your nails through out the movie
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07-06-2011 13:37
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You may be an open book but I'm a bit more complicated than that. The inner macanations of my mind are an enigma
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07-06-2011 13:34 by
jdirt
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If you cant dazzle them with your brilliance, baffle them with your bull$hit. -Abraham Lincoln
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07-06-2011 13:33 by
jdirt
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I don't get the toilet seat issue that woman have. I won't put my naked butt on anything without looking at it first. Apparently some woman ar not so discriminating
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07-06-2011 13:30 by
jdirt
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Damn white cars that look like cop cars! I just chugged my beer super fast for nothing
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07-06-2011 13:29 by
jdirt
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Doing the old....how many woman have I slept with count....God I hate fractions
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07-06-2011 13:29 by
jdirt
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The new ending to Harry Potter is lame. He says Abra Cadabra and Steve Miller reaches out and grabs Voldemort.
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07-06-2011 13:29 by
flinnie
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Florida, you just want attention don't you? Casey Anthony, Tim Tebow, the election of 2000. Its always about you, isn't it?
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07-06-2011 13:26 by
flinnie
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Always be positive! For example: I am positive that I hate Casey Anthony.
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07-06-2011 13:25
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I like to relive my single days when my wife gets home late by eating dinner standing over the sink.
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07-06-2011 13:25 by
flinnie
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A fool is a wise man's ladder.
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07-06-2011 13:25
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If you don't define yourself for yourself, you will be crunched into other people's fantasies and abused till kingdom come.
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07-06-2011 13:22
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Canadian bacon is just ham wrapped in a lie
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07-06-2011 13:21 by
flinnie
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Excuse me Casey Anthony, but OJ had the best murder trial of all time!!! - Kanye West
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07-06-2011 12:56
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