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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Requesting the Mariachi to play "La Cucaracha" at a Mexican Restaurant is not a good idea but I'll do it cause I'm gangsta.
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07-08-2011 15:37 by
mros214
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Anytime someone says their going to delete their Facebook remember to ask for goodbye sex first
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07-08-2011 15:27 by
Mahdi H
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NASCAR in Kentucky, I have not seen this many rednecks fired up about something since RedMan started using resealable pouches.
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07-08-2011 15:15 by
T-Tibbetts
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When Lifetime makes the movie, Alanis Morrisett should play Casey Anthony. The resemblance is eeerie
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07-08-2011 15:09 | Tags: Filtered
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Sometimes I regret bringing sexy back.
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07-08-2011 14:24 by
Marshall the Great
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Next time you try talking to a group of people who claim they can't speak English, just say, “Ok, I'm about to punch everyone who's shoes are untied.” You'll be amazed at how many people will look down.
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07-08-2011 14:21 by
Marshall the Great
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My co worker asked if I could help file some documents. I said I was working on a huge project while she watched me play solitaire.
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07-08-2011 14:12 by
Marshall the Great
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If your girlfriend claims to never look at your Facebook profile, change your relationship status to 'single' and wait 5 minutes.
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07-08-2011 14:06 by
Marshall the Great
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Reason why I check my voice mail... 5% Because I care about my missed calls, 95% to remove that annoying icon.
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07-08-2011 14:01 by
Marshall the Great
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Guys, she makes you guess what's wrong, so you unknowingly give her other sh!t to be mad about too.
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07-08-2011 13:57 by
Marshall the Great
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I wish people were like money,so you could hold them up to the light to see which one's are real and which one's are fake.
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07-08-2011 13:54 by
Marshall the Great
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Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
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07-08-2011 13:46 by
Wise Ol\' Bird
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In her defense my mom used to say "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it"...
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07-08-2011 13:44
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When I see someone driving the same car I'm driving, I always peer in to make sure it's not me from another dimension.
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07-08-2011 13:26 by
SuthernFukr
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Hmmm....not quite sure who I'm doing this weekend yet.
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07-08-2011 13:23
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why is everyone in love with their hair these days? I hate my hair ..cause it's so FREAKIN AWESOME!!
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07-08-2011 13:11 by
gee
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please do the world a favor and do not park your vehicle like you park your fat ass
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07-08-2011 12:49 by
@harleyhousewife
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It's not everyday you see a color you have never seen before.... The flame under Atlantis was an indescribable.
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07-08-2011 12:16
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I can never hear the song Bohemian Rhapsody and not think of Wayne's World.
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07-08-2011 12:15
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First Zuckerberg steals the concept of Facebook now he tried to steal Steve Jobs way of presenting....
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07-08-2011 12:11
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