Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon OMG! Anyone know the number of the water treatment plant? I need to let em know I just sent something their way that is going to cause trouble when it gets there....Lordy Lordy Lordy!
←Rate | 07-28-2011 23:18 by Rick H. Comments (0)  


   messageicon I find it astonishing I can remember every wordto Wild Wild West by Will Smith, which I haven't heard in 10 years, but can't find my keys
←Rate | 07-28-2011 23:15 by Jc Comments (0)  


   messageicon TRUE STORY: I got 99 chargers but my phone aint 1
←Rate | 07-28-2011 23:07 by brian_Allen Comments (0)  


   messageicon We let you do whatever you want. Otherwise, why the hell would you ever come here?? - Nevada's State Motto
←Rate | 07-28-2011 22:39 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Couch pillows are really just fart silencers.
←Rate | 07-28-2011 22:39 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I do procrastinate more than I should, but it always gives me something to do tomorrow...
←Rate | 07-28-2011 22:38 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw this guy drowning so I threw him a life saver. His last words were, "what is this.. candy?"
←Rate | 07-28-2011 22:35 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some smartphone you turned out to be. You should have known better than to let me call my damn Ex.
←Rate | 07-28-2011 22:25 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're really not as bad as people say. You're much, much worse.
←Rate | 07-28-2011 22:23 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just owning the Washington Redskins was his first stupid mistake.
←Rate | 07-28-2011 20:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I'm going to go to the trouble of wishing your sorry, unknown, only 87 friends a$$ a happy birthday, the least you could do is acknowledge it with a "like".
←Rate | 07-28-2011 20:45 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon David Guetta, "all the crazy sh** I did tonight those will be the best memories". So, will they?!
←Rate | 07-28-2011 20:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The beat you hear outside the club sounds very similar to the sound a cat makes before throwing up.
←Rate | 07-28-2011 20:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just laugh at all the things that say they are 3-D ready. Alchol has been 3-D ready for 200 years!
←Rate | 07-28-2011 19:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't normally send me regular texts and/or you don't respond to my regular text than DO NOT send me those idiotic Fwd texts!!
←Rate | 07-28-2011 19:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some times I like to take my kids down to the car lot and show them the nice Aston Martin V12 Vantage I'd be driving if they had never been born.
←Rate | 07-28-2011 19:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So did all those kids that had the skate or die t shirts in the 90s die?
←Rate | 07-28-2011 19:23 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon So you say Red Bull just isn't enough kick for you anymore. How about I set you on fire? That will get you up and moving. For a bit anyway.
←Rate | 07-28-2011 19:21 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel a disturbance in the Force. Something tells me that Dan Snyder, owner of the Washington Redskins is about to do something stupid.
←Rate | 07-28-2011 19:13 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got 99 chargers but my phone Aint 1
←Rate | 07-28-2011 19:09 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  



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