Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon If you're using your girlfriend or boyfriends name as your password, can I punch you? Or would that make you more stupid?
←Rate | 07-31-2011 16:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The world judges me by the decisions I make… but it never see the options I had to choose from
←Rate | 07-31-2011 16:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon GRUMPY OLD MAN "You need to pick up after your dog!!" ME "It's pee! If you want to grab a straw and suck it up… be my guest"
←Rate | 07-31-2011 16:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 21 Minutes of battery life left. "That's enough time for me to finish what I am doing" 6 Minutes Later: Laptop Shuts Down "You piece of sh*t! You lied to me!"
←Rate | 07-31-2011 16:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best things in life aren't free, they're 16 bucks a case and either 60 bucks at the cat house or the cost of room and board at home.
←Rate | 07-31-2011 16:41 by jdirt Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Final Destination 5" well, looks like someone needs to look up the meaning of the word "FINAL"
←Rate | 07-31-2011 16:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seriously, it's 2011, can we please get some waterproof phones? I would like to text in the shower.
←Rate | 07-31-2011 16:38 Comments (1)  


   messageicon It's funny how in pre-school, siting boy-girl-boy-girl used to be a punishment.
←Rate | 07-31-2011 16:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life and Wife are two words that rhyme, but if you have one, you can't have the other!
←Rate | 07-31-2011 16:02 by BAD GUY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pretend you're a giant panda by giving yourself two black eyes, eating bamboo shoots and refusing to have sex with your wife.
←Rate | 07-31-2011 16:00 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I ask of Thee, Lord, is to be a drinker and fornicator, an unbeliever and a sodomite and then to die.
←Rate | 07-31-2011 15:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So damn bored and sleepy at work. Sunday should be national holiday for everyone period. The only places needs to stay open should be Walmart and the clubs.
←Rate | 07-31-2011 15:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Smartphones & PC's... iPhones are as popular as Windows PC's and Androids are as popular as Apple MAC's... Technological Karma :s
←Rate | 07-31-2011 15:14 by knightrider Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't like my driving, stay off the sidewalk!
←Rate | 07-31-2011 14:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the Eagles would sign Casey Anthony to a contract if they could......
←Rate | 07-31-2011 14:30 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss those 16.9 oz glass soda bottles this time of year.
←Rate | 07-31-2011 13:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have seen a lot of women post on their Facebook about how they are missing their men, but I am yet to see a guy update his status about how much he is missing his woman. So my question is which men are these women missing?
←Rate | 07-31-2011 13:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wanted: Friend with benefit. I'm not selfish, you don't even have to enjoy it!
←Rate | 07-31-2011 12:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just watched a porn parody of Paranormal Activity. I was scared stiff.
←Rate | 07-31-2011 12:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Phone, Maybe if you didn`t light up and beep so many damn times telling me you had a low battery, you wouldn`t have run out of power so quickly!
←Rate | 07-31-2011 11:59 Comments (0)  



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