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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I'm not really that worried about August 2nd.....I still got all my supplies that I stockpiled way back for the Y2K scare...I'm all set...if anyone needs any MRE's lemme know ;-)
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07-31-2011 22:49 by
Nebulith
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"Umm...isn't it on the back of the car?"-another thing NOT to say when a cop asks to see your license.
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07-31-2011 22:44
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If two past lovers remain friends, it`s either someone is still in love, or someone is still hoping for a second chance.
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07-31-2011 22:42 by
BEGO
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had a very confident breakdown today. Wasn't nervous at all.
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07-31-2011 22:40
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would like to congratulate Amy Winehouse on 1 week of sobriety!!!
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07-31-2011 22:35 by
migasjoe
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If the government fails to raise the debt ceiling and stops paying their bills, I will stop paying mine, fair is fair
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07-31-2011 22:19 by
BEGO
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You'll never guess what came in my mail todday. The mailman did :(
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07-31-2011 22:12
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Man with one foot on 'yesterday' and one foot on 'tomorrow' will end up pissing on 'today'.
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07-31-2011 22:07 by
BEGO
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Dear Phone, Maybe if you didn`t light up so many damn times telling me you had a low battery, you wouldn`t have died so damn quickly!
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07-31-2011 22:06 by
BEGO
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Wrong # call = boring. Wrong text message = fun. Some1 text me "Carl, where the hell r u?" I responded "sex change, call you back as Carla."
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07-31-2011 21:54 by
derfmeister
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If NASA Scientists are so smart, why the hell do they count backwards??
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07-31-2011 21:42 | Tags: Filtered
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my relationship status and my underwear situation are one in the same. (It's complicated)
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07-31-2011 18:20
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If I've learned one thing in life it's: No matter what the problem is, alcohol is always the answer.
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07-31-2011 18:18
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Where's Waldo has created a generation of women who chase unavailable men.
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07-31-2011 18:14
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"Girls night out" is the best way to say "No one wants to date me."
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07-31-2011 18:12
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No Facebook, I don't want to have you as my home page. I actually have a life -_-
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07-31-2011 18:08
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I've been internet single since before the internet was invented.
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07-31-2011 17:58
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What kind of lunch boxes do super heroes take to school?
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07-31-2011 17:56
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Girls: Going into detail about your period is about as attractive as a guy trying to detail the smell of his brother's scrotum.
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07-31-2011 17:54
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I LOVE my new x rated -GPS "Ahhh right there! Yes! Yes! Right there! Don't stop!!"
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07-31-2011 17:51
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