Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I got to thinking about when Hugh Hefner who is 85 was dating that girl who was 25......That would be like me dating a girl who would not be born for another eight years.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 10:02 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jani Lane, lead singer of Warrant found dead. Cause of death unknown at news time but witnesses report heavy cherry smell in the air. Guess heaven wasn't too far away.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 09:33 by JIMJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just when I thought my dream was real.............the elephant wants to start talkin
←Rate | 08-12-2011 08:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why doesn't facebook just change the Poke to what it really means. "Bend over, I'll drive."
←Rate | 08-12-2011 07:32 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon My boss asked me if I was trying to give him a heart attack, I'm guessing by my smug smile and walk off he got his answer.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 07:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Updating my status in the car. Don't worry, I'm in the passenger seat. Which makes it harder to drive, but fools the cops.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 06:46 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss being young and innocent. Now I'm old and guilty...
←Rate | 08-12-2011 04:56 by J.B Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friends are like the walls of a house. Sometimes they hold you up, sometimes you lean on them. But sometimes, it's enough to know they're just standing by.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 04:54 by J.B Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's the weekend!!! The " Responsible Adult Button" has been switched to OFF!!
←Rate | 08-12-2011 04:52 by J.B Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been celibate for so long all I have now is a bladder release valve!
←Rate | 08-12-2011 04:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys who claim they are players usually get no plays. Beware of the quiet private ones.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 04:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Obama just announced his NEW plan! He is going to vacation in Martha's Vineyard
←Rate | 08-12-2011 03:27 by BB Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am going to change your relationship status from “Taken” to “Stolen”
←Rate | 08-12-2011 03:17 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Insomnia. I tried counting sheep, but they kept sitting down and telling me their problems. Very anxiety-ridden, those sheep...
←Rate | 08-12-2011 02:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon One of the unsung signs of depression is throwing away fast food trash in your bathroom trashcan.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 01:30 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so lazy I just gave up halfway through a shrug.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 01:25 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know my dream woman is out there somewhere. And that her boring friend is the one who's into me.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 01:20 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just farted...
←Rate | 08-12-2011 00:56 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon So what happened?? Did London just find out about the Rodney King verdict
←Rate | 08-12-2011 00:50 by ~heZz~ Comments (0)  


   messageicon it just me, or do those Stouffer's French Bread pizzas burn the sh%t out of the roof of your mouth too?
←Rate | 08-12-2011 00:49 Comments (0)  



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