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Being single just means you haven't met anyone good enough for you yet!
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08-14-2011 06:55
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suddenly the song anarchy in the uk makes sense
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08-14-2011 06:23 by
@SeanDownesBrand
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Have you ever noticed that when you go abroad on holiday, on the first day you're like a fish out of water, but by the time the last day arrives, you're walking around like you own the Hotel!
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08-14-2011 03:26 by
mcsgadgets
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she txtd me "im outside" so I txtd her back "Im inside looking at my phone saying that didnt sound like the doorbell" lol
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08-14-2011 02:22 by
@BoyGotJokes
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Every time someone wishes me "Sweet Dreams", I wake up with high blood sugar.
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08-14-2011 01:45 by
Little Debbie
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I always polish off a box of Oreos at the Dentists' office right before a cleaning. My last bill was, $2400.00.
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08-14-2011 01:37 by
Mick F
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I saw a sign in the hospital today, it read "For Family Planning - Please Use Rear Entrance". What good advice!!
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08-14-2011 00:59 by
rickyza1
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im against picketing, but I dont know how to show it
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08-14-2011 00:51
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if you're ever attacked by a bunch of clowns... Go for the Juggler!!!
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08-14-2011 00:16 by
Steve OH
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to those actresses who say they won't do nudity if it isn't important to the plot, they should do porn... there nudity IS the plot!
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08-14-2011 00:06 by
ARM
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"Please, consider giving your time to help those in need." ...Ok, done. Wow, what a bunch of whiners, that was so easy. NEXT PROBLEM.
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08-13-2011 23:56
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My neighbour talks to his dog like it's his child. I heard him while taking my cat's pyjamas off the clothes line.
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08-13-2011 23:47
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Do emo kids not get enough Happy Meals as a kid?
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08-13-2011 23:36 by
@BoyGotJokes
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Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
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08-13-2011 23:34 by
@BoyGotJokes
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Hoarder is such a bad word.... I Prefer the term "Clutter Junkie"
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08-13-2011 23:26
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Just read that a canadian granny spent her 82nd birthday bungee jumping She landed safely ...where her breasts were already waiting for her.
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08-13-2011 23:25
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Dear Lord, Just once I would like to walk up to a RedBox and not have to wait for one of your special idiots to finish licking the screen. Amen.
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08-13-2011 23:17 by
Lostin Austin
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Dear infommercials.. Clearly its not a $100 value if you're selling it for 10 bucks
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08-13-2011 23:11 by
@BoyGotJokes
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"Vegetarian" is an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
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08-13-2011 22:18 by
onecuwldood
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Two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One said to the other, "How do you like that? Pay toilets."
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08-13-2011 22:15 by
onecuwldood
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