Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Just because a few people of questionable eyesight and judgment say you are pretty does not automatically make you a model.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 09:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It sad when you realize that even your hideously ugly friend is in a relationship and you are still single and dateless.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 08:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not rude...I just wasn't taught to politely pretend to be nice to people I can't stand.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 08:08 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a thief kisses you, count your teeth.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 07:55 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cesar Millan's tactics work perfectly fine on teenagers just as much as they work on dogs.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 07:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Worst feeling ever : taking a sh!t in a public bathroom and getting your a$$hole splashed with toilet water.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 07:06 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cesar Millan is amazing as The Dog Whisperer but I'm not gonna be really impressed until a show called "Rebellious Teenager Whisperer" comes out.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 07:00 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most wives don't want to hear their husband's opinion. They want to hear their own opinion- in their husband's voice.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 06:38 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon After watching Star Wars for the thousanth time I noticed Chewbacca is always wearing a purse. Now I wonder if he was actually a sidekick or the "competion" for Princess Leia
←Rate | 08-30-2011 06:25 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Putting a friends name on your status update box on accident while searching for them is pretty funny for all your friends and family to see. Unless your friend is a Porn Site.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 06:17 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon In my life, I have gotten much more useful and practical advice from Cesar Millan the dog whisperer than I have gotten from Dr. Phil.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 06:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best way to get your teenage son to roll his eyes is show him your "Jedi Powers" by waving your hand in front of the automatic doors at Target.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 06:06 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon I accept exceptions except when accepting them would be unacceptable because I'm exceptional.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 05:51 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't believe it's merely a coincidence the the letters in Frito Lay can be rearranged to spell "oily fart".
←Rate | 08-30-2011 05:27 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who ever made up the term "marital bliss" probably was the same genius who made up other phrases like military intelligence, pretty ugly, and authentic reproduction.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 05:21 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Single? No, I'm just in a relationship with freedom.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 05:15 by No Body Comments (0)  


   messageicon No strings attached, your love is so wi-fi
←Rate | 08-30-2011 05:13 by No Body Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear vegetarians, my food sh!ts on your food.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 01:37 by des Comments (0)  


   messageicon yo mama's so old she has an autographed copy of The Holly Bible.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 01:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friends are like potatoes if you eat them they die
←Rate | 08-30-2011 01:09 by Kian Comments (0)  



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