Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I'll probably lose all the weight I want now that I've permanently lost my appetite after reading the headline "Nancy Grace Nipple Slip".
←Rate | 09-27-2011 15:29 by @AlliB513 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That akward moment when you're texting someone and they end the conversation with a smiley face instead of "lol" and you don't know what to put back...
←Rate | 09-27-2011 15:23 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Dad, when can I use the car?" "When you cut that long hair." Why? Jesus had long hair." "Yeah, and he walked everywhere too!"
←Rate | 09-27-2011 15:16 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sh!t you not: My cashier's name was Kashir. Motherf*cker would NOT let me take a picture. He said he "don't geeve a sheet about fecebook."
←Rate | 09-27-2011 15:13 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, not all men try to push your buttons. It's just that when you have hundreds of little b!tch switches, it's hard not to bump a few.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 15:09 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thinking about writing a children's book called "Stop asking me for sh!t."
←Rate | 09-27-2011 15:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does everyone have a weird Facebook acquaintance that comments on all their sh!t, or is it just me?
←Rate | 09-27-2011 15:04 by Marshall the Great | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon F*ck you light bulb it's my turn to be burnt out.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 14:54 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I still want to walk away in slo-mo from a cool-looking explosion one day, but running away from a clogged toilet will have to do for now.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 14:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and some I'd love to punch in the face!
←Rate | 09-27-2011 14:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people call me a smart ass, I say I'm just smart with a good ass answer.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 14:34 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somewhere in the hood somebody mama is using they child's name to keep the house phone on.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 14:23 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are you really worried that much about your internet history in the afterlife? Everyone knows you masturbate to porn, don't worry. No one needs to clear it when you die.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 14:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dont let the ladies fool you cuz deep down they know they need us men...If not for the orgygasims then at least for are ability too kill spiders and open jars...
←Rate | 09-27-2011 14:20 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's going to take a lot more than a few “LIKES” on my Facebook page to make me forget what an ass you were in high school.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 14:19 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can we have a moment of silence for those unfortunate souls who have never smoked weed...
←Rate | 09-27-2011 14:11 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have to question whether or not your behavior is acceptable - it's probably not.... and we should definitely hang out.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 14:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon "When all is said and done" It will be really quiet.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 14:03 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I could get fired and get paid $25 million like Charlie Sheen.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 14:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry, I'm not yawning because what you're saying is "boring." I'm merely stretching my mouth before I excercise it when I say "SHUT THE F*** UP!"
←Rate | 09-27-2011 14:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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