My plan to train the world's first tap dancing spider would have gone better had I not freaked out and stomped it to death whilst screaming like a little girl.
"Don't speak to me, I will k!ll you, eat you, sh!t you, stomp you flat, scrape what's left of you off my shoe onto the curb and set you on fire!!!" "Damn baby, I just said good morning." "I'll go get the Midol and Pr0zac."
Some people message me and wonder why I've deleted them from my friends list. And I always respond "Even the trash gets taken out once week around here."