Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   You'll lose a lot of money, chasing women. But you'll never lose women, chasing money.

   Life is harder for the beautiful people. I'm sorry you'll never know.

   That urge you get to write “No one gives a crap” on someone's status.

   a womans mind is like a baby's diaper...gets changed many times throughout the day

   Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. 

   Before I go to sleep, I start imagining stuff that I would like to happen.

   I guess MACs don't last longer then PCs........too soon IGuess

   I've come to realize I have very few friends at work. I have acquaintances, and approximately half of them will sell you out in a heartbeat.

   Did anybody try turning Steve Jobs off and then back on again? That usually works.

   Pancreatic cancer...There isn't an App for that.

   Nobody ever pays me in gum ( -_-)

   Looks like Steve Jobs is on his iCloud.

   new stick of deodorant today:) instructions say: "open and push up bottom" I can't walk properly now but whenevey I fart the room smells lovely :D

   FOX News is reporting that Obama is being questioned for killing Jobs

   Rest iPeace Steve Jobs

   I was pretty pissed about the fake iPhone5 too though...

   iDead..Rest in Peace Steve Jobs...you created great machines I can't afford :[

   Steve Jobs tombstone: iDied

   saying sorry in advance for any overuse of "21 Questions" Facebook e-mail notifications. I'm just really curious to find out who thinks I have a cute butt

   sometimes I wanna smack the hell outta a cyclist with my mirror..