Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon carrying a Coach purse, driving a few years old Lexus and paying for your food order with your Access card! I hope you get herpes. Meanwhile I will try and get by on unemployment you f'n baby factory.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 16:44 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Our neighbor said he wouldn't mind me stealing their newspaper if I would at least put a robe on first.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 16:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There would be a lot less litter in the world if we just sharpened the walking sticks for the blind.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 16:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you call a Lesbian that lives in Alaska? A KLONDIKE!
←Rate | 10-13-2011 16:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's okay ladies, I understand. If I did twice the work and got half the credit I'd go crazy too.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 16:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i was in a jehovah witness hall yesterday, they started speaking in tounge, I swear they sounded like a honda accord going in reverse.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 16:34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon What's the definition of a gay midget? A LOW BLOW!
←Rate | 10-13-2011 16:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best thing about hanging out with kids is they can't bore you by talking about their kids.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 16:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon gonna wear a Charlie Brown costume this Halloween and give everyboby who comes to my door a ROCK.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 16:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A smart ass is someone who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you what flavor it is.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 15:27 by RUDEDOG Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people add me on Facebook and never say anything? ... Just hanging around watching like a rapist in a van
←Rate | 10-13-2011 15:19 by Memz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel like a mushroom. Kept in the dark and fed nothing but $hit.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 15:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim Jong Ill: Why is everyone so f**king stupid? Why can't more people be interrigent, like me.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 15:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon For sale: Dignity, gently used. Comes with sense of shame (still in box). $1 OBO.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 15:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really wish Kellogg's would change the name of Froot Loops to HomO's.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 15:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Tue, Wed, Thu, Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon." -Jamaican naming six days of the week
←Rate | 10-13-2011 15:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when my nap gets interrupted by a pedestrian slamming into my windshield.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 15:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife refers to my underwear drawer as skid row.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 14:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i wish my car ran off MONSTER like I do or even trident layers (imagine)..lol
←Rate | 10-13-2011 14:57 by @kraziedavid909 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My printer must have been made in Jamaica because it always be jammin, mon.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 14:55 Comments (0)  



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