Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   How come rappers always brag about being criminals and committing crimes, but then whine like little babies when people illegally download their music. Dang hypocrites.

   Why don't blind people go skydiving? Because it scares the hell out of their dog.

   You know what a lot of words mean, it's just really hard to explain it

   When you're trick-or-treating, it kind of makes you sad if the people handing out candy are younger than you.

   The cheaper the phone, the harder it is to break.

   Its a bit awkward when you don't realize how many curse words and sexual innuendos a song has in it until you're in the car listening to it with your parents.

   Praying Steve can make this 20 hour wait to download the new iOS 5 hurry up from his iCloud

   Some girls need to realize that having fat on their bodies doesn't make them fat - it makes them alive.

   It's better to have loved and lost than to stay home every night and download increasingly shameful pornography,

   You feel safer when you're wearing clothes, even though they don't actually offer very much protection.

   Overhearing someone ask their friend a question sucks when you know the answer, but can't exhibit your amazing knowledge without seeming like a weirdo for listening to their conversation.

   Protester Fail: Every Guy Fawkes mask you buy to show your support sends a royallty to Time Warner, one of the largest corporations in America.

   Have you ever noticed that Velma(from Scooby-Doo) only says who the bad guy is after she pulls off their mask. And then conveniently knew it was him or her all along.

   Study: The act of eating, browsing the net, and listening to music with an open text book near by.

   Don't you hate the uncomfortable feeling when you have a really bad cold and one nostril is stuffed up to no avail and the other nostril is so perfectly clear that when you breath in it feels like all the cool air goes straight to your brain.

   There's always that feeling of relief when you run in 10 minutes late for class, and it turns out that your teacher is later than you.

   It would be horrible if Facebook connected to Google and posted what you are searching for.

   There are times where you really do feel sorry for Squidward.

   Accidentally quoting lyrics may be funny or embarrassing, but in the end, it doesn't even matter.

   Think about it this way: Due to all of the successes Steve Jobs had, news of his death is spreading faster than it ever could have. That's what I call a life's accomplishment.