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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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carrying a Coach purse, driving a few years old Lexus and paying for your food order with your Access card! I hope you get herpes. Meanwhile I will try and get by on unemployment you f'n baby factory.
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10-13-2011 16:44 by
Joseph Robert
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Our neighbor said he wouldn't mind me stealing their newspaper if I would at least put a robe on first.
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10-13-2011 16:43
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There would be a lot less litter in the world if we just sharpened the walking sticks for the blind.
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10-13-2011 16:42
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What do you call a Lesbian that lives in Alaska? A KLONDIKE!
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10-13-2011 16:42
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It's okay ladies, I understand. If I did twice the work and got half the credit I'd go crazy too.
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10-13-2011 16:39
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i was in a jehovah witness hall yesterday, they started speaking in tounge, I swear they sounded like a honda accord going in reverse.
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10-13-2011 16:34
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What's the definition of a gay midget? A LOW BLOW!
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10-13-2011 16:28
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The best thing about hanging out with kids is they can't bore you by talking about their kids.
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10-13-2011 16:24
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gonna wear a Charlie Brown costume this Halloween and give everyboby who comes to my door a ROCK.
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10-13-2011 16:14
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A smart ass is someone who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you what flavor it is.
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10-13-2011 15:27 by
RUDEDOG
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Why do people add me on Facebook and never say anything? ... Just hanging around watching like a rapist in a van
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10-13-2011 15:19 by
Memz
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I feel like a mushroom. Kept in the dark and fed nothing but $hit.
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10-13-2011 15:19
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Kim Jong Ill: Why is everyone so f**king stupid? Why can't more people be interrigent, like me.
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10-13-2011 15:18
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For sale: Dignity, gently used. Comes with sense of shame (still in box). $1 OBO.
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10-13-2011 15:08
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I really wish Kellogg's would change the name of Froot Loops to HomO's.
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10-13-2011 15:06
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"Tue, Wed, Thu, Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon." -Jamaican naming six days of the week
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10-13-2011 15:04
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I hate it when my nap gets interrupted by a pedestrian slamming into my windshield.
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10-13-2011 15:01
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My wife refers to my underwear drawer as skid row.
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10-13-2011 14:58
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i wish my car ran off MONSTER like I do or even trident layers (imagine)..lol
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10-13-2011 14:57 by
@kraziedavid909
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My printer must have been made in Jamaica because it always be jammin, mon.
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10-13-2011 14:55
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