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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Constantly comparing your old relationship to your new relationship is a quick way to find yourself single again.
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10-13-2011 04:13
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Love isn't a decision, it's a feeling. It doesn't come with rules and regulations or terms and conditions. It just happens.
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10-13-2011 04:12
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Blonde sluts out here think STD stands for "Suck that d*ck"
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10-13-2011 04:04
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When white girls become 16 and pregnant, they get their own show "16 and pregnant" ...black girls go to Maury
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10-13-2011 04:03
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Some people need to realize that having fat on their bodies doesn't make them fat - it makes them alive.
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10-13-2011 04:00
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The BEST can't find you until you put the WORST behind you.
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10-13-2011 03:59
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Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. Fear is awful, face it. Memories are sweet, cherish them.
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10-13-2011 03:57
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The Less people you deal with, the less problems you will have.
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10-13-2011 03:20
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I'm a murderer, I killed my old self.
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10-13-2011 03:17
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I wonder who's forehead would win in a head-butting contest between Tyra Banks and Rihanna?
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10-13-2011 03:16
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instead of watches, Timex should make hearts..."takes a cheatin & keep on beatin...takes a dumpin & keep on pumpin
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10-13-2011 02:51 by
Eddy
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Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo
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10-13-2011 01:56
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My wife thinks I'm at work. My boss thinks I'm home sick. These ducks think I'm awesome because I have the bread.
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10-13-2011 01:53
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When someone I like deletes me, I think "Why? What did I do?" Then I eat real food, have real sex and high five real people I actually know.
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10-13-2011 01:52
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You know those people that you have to explain every joke to? Let's kill them.
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10-13-2011 01:50
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4 hour naps suck! I don't even know whether it's daytime still or night time already...
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10-13-2011 01:48 by
BRian
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let's be honest half of us didn't even know who Steve Jobs was until he died...
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10-13-2011 01:40
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congratulations Vodka man! You've just been named public enemy number 1 in a matter of 10 minutes...
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10-13-2011 01:27
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There is perhaps nothing more annoying then listening to a great song on Youtube and decidding to vote up a comment you agree with, only to be taken away from the video to a login page prompting you for your username/password.
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10-13-2011 01:23 by
g0re
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If you think about it Johnny Bravo would be perfect for Jersey Shore.
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10-13-2011 01:20 by
g0re
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