Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4386 of 5593

   messageicon Constantly comparing your old relationship to your new relationship is a quick way to find yourself single again.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 04:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love isn't a decision, it's a feeling. It doesn't come with rules and regulations or terms and conditions. It just happens.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 04:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Blonde sluts out here think STD stands for "Suck that d*ck"
←Rate | 10-13-2011 04:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When white girls become 16 and pregnant, they get their own show "16 and pregnant" ...black girls go to Maury
←Rate | 10-13-2011 04:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people need to realize that having fat on their bodies doesn't make them fat - it makes them alive.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 04:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The BEST can't find you until you put the WORST behind you.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 03:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. Fear is awful, face it. Memories are sweet, cherish them.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 03:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Less people you deal with, the less problems you will have.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 03:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm a murderer, I killed my old self.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 03:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder who's forehead would win in a head-butting contest between Tyra Banks and Rihanna?
←Rate | 10-13-2011 03:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon instead of watches, Timex should make hearts..."takes a cheatin & keep on beatin...takes a dumpin & keep on pumpin
←Rate | 10-13-2011 02:51 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo
←Rate | 10-13-2011 01:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife thinks I'm at work. My boss thinks I'm home sick. These ducks think I'm awesome because I have the bread.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 01:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone I like deletes me, I think "Why? What did I do?" Then I eat real food, have real sex and high five real people I actually know.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 01:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know those people that you have to explain every joke to? Let's kill them.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 01:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 4 hour naps suck! I don't even know whether it's daytime still or night time already...
←Rate | 10-13-2011 01:48 by BRian Comments (0)  


   messageicon let's be honest half of us didn't even know who Steve Jobs was until he died...
←Rate | 10-13-2011 01:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon congratulations Vodka man! You've just been named public enemy number 1 in a matter of 10 minutes...
←Rate | 10-13-2011 01:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is perhaps nothing more annoying then listening to a great song on Youtube and decidding to vote up a comment you agree with, only to be taken away from the video to a login page prompting you for your username/password.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 01:23 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think about it Johnny Bravo would be perfect for Jersey Shore.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 01:20 by g0re Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left