Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon My mother texted me "What does IDK, LY,& TTYL means? I answered: I don't know, love u, talk to you later. Mother: Ok I'll ask your sister
←Rate | 11-06-2011 18:24 by marcus Comments (0)  


   messageicon my kids enjoy the free cardboard box and balloons the most
←Rate | 11-06-2011 18:07 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Behind every fat girl there is a beautiful woman. No seriously, you're in the way.
←Rate | 11-06-2011 17:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're texting two people at the same time, you are biTextual. :)
←Rate | 11-06-2011 17:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the home button and I'm still at WORK.!!!
←Rate | 11-06-2011 17:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are two things why we don't trust people. FIRST: We don't know them. SECOND: We know them.
←Rate | 11-06-2011 17:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear parents: Oh really? I'm a liar? What about the tooth fairy, the Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus? Sincerely, your child.
←Rate | 11-06-2011 17:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How about first you show me your benefits and THEN I'll let you know if we can be friends.
←Rate | 11-06-2011 17:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon there has been a new law stating that veils are not to be allowed in the workplace. Bee keepers are furious!
←Rate | 11-06-2011 16:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon finished his first book in 24 years...That was a hell of a lot of coloring!
←Rate | 11-06-2011 16:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants to change my name on facebook to "no-one". then when I add someone it will say "no-one wants to be your friend".
←Rate | 11-06-2011 15:47 by hayley Comments (0)  


   messageicon This "NORMAL" you speak of, doesn't sound fun at all.
←Rate | 11-06-2011 15:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes, I wonder if anyone is secretly in love with me.
←Rate | 11-06-2011 13:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Sex is a part of nature, I go along with nature." - Marilyn Monroe
←Rate | 11-06-2011 13:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon God's busy. Can I help you?
←Rate | 11-06-2011 13:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever realized how many types of asses there are? SmartASS. DumbASS. CrazyASS. StupidASS. Who knew asses had personalities?
←Rate | 11-06-2011 13:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Swallowing pride never choked anyone
←Rate | 11-06-2011 13:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes it's more important to be human, than to have good taste.
←Rate | 11-06-2011 13:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Experience is a good teacher, but it comes at a high price.
←Rate | 11-06-2011 13:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Steelers menu tonight: 4 & 20 black (dirty) birds baked in a pie!
←Rate | 11-06-2011 12:22 by totalpackage Comments (0)  



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