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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Friends are like snowflakes.... if you pee on them they disappear.
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10-29-2011 13:53 by
g0re
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Hey ladies, you know who finds your period attractive? Sharks.
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10-29-2011 13:46 by
@dj_soltrix
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When you're walking and texting and you walk slower and slower and slower till you're just standing there texting..
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10-29-2011 13:39 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin....
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10-29-2011 13:36
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That uneasy moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don't know what to do with your life any more.
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10-29-2011 13:21
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I forget. How on Earth did we ever find out what the weather was like before Facebook?....Oh, now I remember, we looked out the window.
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10-29-2011 13:18
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Who else thought Spongebob's parents were cookies?
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10-29-2011 12:50 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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"You're so ugly!" "Really?" "Yes!" "Good, I was trying to look like you today..."
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10-29-2011 12:49 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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Halloween is the by far the safest day to kill a person and leave them in a chair on your porch.
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10-29-2011 12:44 by
Aaron
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Don't judge me for saying girlfriends don't watch football. If you have a girlfriend that loves football, she should be your wife!
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10-29-2011 12:07
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That rather uneasy moment when your Arab friend says, "I'm the bomb!
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10-29-2011 12:02
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Music Teacher: “What is your favourite musical instrument?” Fat Kid: “The lunch bell.”
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10-29-2011 12:01
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I dont know wheather to rake or shovel...
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10-29-2011 11:41 by
L
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The neighbor that is a cop was not so concerned why I was naked, but wanted to know how I got in the backseat of his car and cuffed myself last night.
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10-29-2011 11:35
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I think my neighbor it drunk, he is taking his Christmas lights down!
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10-29-2011 11:34
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I don't have a short temper; I just have a quick reaction to bullsh!t.
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10-29-2011 11:31 by
KISSTOPHER
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Ladies: There's something just not right about having to take the batteries out of your TV remote to use in your vibrator.
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10-29-2011 10:39
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Love is free but Loyalty is going to cost you extra.
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10-29-2011 10:36
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If your heart was really broken you would be dead. So STFU.
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10-29-2011 09:07
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Someone suggested I get myself one of those pen1s enlargers, so I did..... she's 21 and her name's Lucy.
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10-29-2011 08:56 by
@clark
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