Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   11 was quite a popular number. Next year it'll be all about 12

   Facebook just got real. You can unsubscribe to status updates and turn people from "friends" to "acquaintances". It's a dirty game

   Wife: Don't Drink Today, or Else No Sex Tonight Husband gives it plenty of Thought Confused What To Choose: 12 yr old Whisky or... 40 yr old Cake

   I'm taking the greed out of agreed, because I don't.

   In the Czech Republic abortions are known as cancelled Czechs

   I buy an ipad and steve jobs dies, I buy a blackberry and bbm dies. I have just bought Justin Bieber's album... Fingers crossed

   age is just a number, yeah right!! and "too young" is just a name in china

   The uneasy moment when you are having a conversation in your head & you realize you are making faces that go along with the silent conversation.

   Officer : How High are you ? Drunk : No officer it's Hi, How are you ?!

   There are girls complaining that there's no good guys left...Hello.....they are where you left them, IN THE FRIEND ZONE

   I'll never forget what you did to me, but I'll never let you know I remember.

   "See I don't understand me...My plan is to win your heart before I win the GRAMMY". :D

   I want to rap with Dr. Dre, I want to smoke with Snoop Dogg, and I want to burn a house with Eminem.

   (phone vibrates) *runs across room* *jumps over couch* *fights off ninjas* *grabs phone* "F*CCCCCK!, I thought you were someone else!!"

   I'm not flirting. I'm just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.

   Get ready for shower... Do weird stuffs in front of the mirror for like an hour.

   sticking up for random people because you don't like the other person.

   The sick b@stard who put the ‘D' in Wednesday must be the same genius who put the ‘R' in February..

   The sick bastard who put the ‘D' in Wednesday must be the same genius who put the ‘R' in February..

   I wonder why facebook gives you the option of "liking" your own status? Of course I like my own status. I'm f*cking awesome.