BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Yellow, Orange, Red. Gatorade has colors, not flavors.

   Drunk Logic: "she's only ugly in the face."

   Every time I fart in my office, it's always 2 seconds before someone decides to walk in.

   A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman...but a beautiful woman with a brain is a lethal combo.

   If you're constantly posting “loving my life!” as your Facebook status, you're probably not.

   How embarrassing would it be if Facebook automatically updated statuses to what you where doing. “Billy is alone in his room.”

   If you have time to update your status after your wedding, you're doing it wrong.

   Where is the button to restart summer?

   Sometimes, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life.

   Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram sometimes make me forget I have text messages.

   LIKE if you know what this means… Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A.

   Some relationships are like Tom & Jerry. They tease each other, knock down each other irritate each other but can't live without each other.

   It's funny how the people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.

   Todays Generation – “omg my parents never let me have nything.” via iPhone

   My EX is crazy, if her emotions were on my iPod, they would be on shuffle.

   I swear ugly people find love faster.

   Every time I think I finally have the life I always dreamed of....I wake up.

   Cool things always happen when I don't have a camera.

   All my friends are getting jobs, engaged, or married. I'm just getting more awesome.

   The people in horror movies would live a lot longer if they listened to me in the audience.