Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Unlike Rudolph, I don't have to visit the Island of Misfit Toys this Christmas. I work there.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 06:57 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its awesome how you can feel happy, sad, scared or aroused just because of the arrangement of pixels on your screen.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 03:22 by TRON Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jesus can walk on water. Humans are 75% water. I can walk on humans. Therefore, I am 75% Jesus,
←Rate | 11-29-2011 03:01 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if P Diddy was actually called Pete Diddy and we just misheard him and now he just goes with it because it's too late to correct everyone, but every night he goes home and cries and whispers to himself "My name is Pete".
←Rate | 11-29-2011 02:59 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pretending to be a pleasant person all day is EXHAUSTING!!!
←Rate | 11-29-2011 02:52 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone should invent a bra that plays music so girls can't complain that guys always stare at their boobs and never listen to them.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 02:37 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon “In life we all have an unspeakable secret, and irreversible regret, an unreachable dream, and an unforgettable love.” 
←Rate | 11-29-2011 02:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Imagine if people were punished like dogs and had our noses rubbed in wrong doings? "Aw man, forgot to take out the trash" Welp, untie that bag and get your face in there. Look at him, he knows what he did.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 01:06 by Nate004 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the words "epic" and "swag" must be abolished at some point. But then again Snoop Dogg has epic swag.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 00:54 by Nate004 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i'm not lazy. i'm just highly motivated to not do anything.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 00:43 by Dr. Blazehawk Comments (0)  


   messageicon No Cyndi Lauper...you're so very wrong. Girls don't just wanna have fun...they want a whole lotta sh!t. Christmas blows. Sincerely - A broke boyfriend.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 00:42 by Nate004 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the moment when you realize that you've been singing the wrong words to a song usually happens when everyone is singing aloud in a car. kills the song and the moment.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 00:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If little girls were given dolls that drank and wet because they had maternal instincts...how come us guys weren't given blow up dolls for our paternal instincts?
←Rate | 11-29-2011 00:24 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies: Don't over exaggerate your make up. Your face is not a coloring book
←Rate | 11-29-2011 00:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Playing hard to get should stop when the relationship starts.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 00:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies: Don't be mad he can't take a hint; be mad that you are dating an idiot.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 00:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some mornings I feel like leaving my coffee until its cold enough that I can just pour it directly into my eyes.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 00:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎20-30 years from now, one of the hardest things our kids will be faced with is finding a screen name which is not already taken!
←Rate | 11-29-2011 00:02 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what I did at work before I had and I-phone and Facebook.
←Rate | 11-28-2011 23:52 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We should feed tuna fish mayonnaise... saving a step in the sandwich making process.
←Rate | 11-28-2011 23:25 Comments (0)  



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