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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Page: 4173 of 5593
It's Britney Spears birthday. She's 30. That's about 57 in trailer park years.
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12-02-2011 16:07 by
SuthernFukr
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One could make a reasonable argument that the tot is the best part of the tater.
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12-02-2011 16:06 by
SuthernFukr
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When your hands are tied, backs against the wall & swept off your feet all at once it clearly means you're a hostage.
2
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12-02-2011 16:04 by
SuthernFukr
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Michael Imperioli is really pissed off about tequila.
3
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12-02-2011 16:02 by
SuthernFukr
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Someone told me that the word "gullible" was not in the dictionary. Well I checked and it was there! Sometimes people's idiocy surprises me.
12
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12-02-2011 15:56 by
SEAN
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Still confused why we use soap and water to remove food from our hands, but just dry paper to remove sh!t from our a$$holes
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12-02-2011 15:35
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Attn: numbskull public bathroom users- would it kill ya to *Flush* when you're done??
8
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12-02-2011 14:19
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"Dude, She Called You Poor!" "OH HELL NO, Hold My Food Stamps"
51
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12-02-2011 14:13
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Right now you make about as much sense as an Alzheimer's patient applying for a job as a history teacher.
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12-02-2011 14:09 by
KISSTOPHER
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I always bring some wire cutters to parties, just in case someone else brings a guitar.
23
9
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12-02-2011 14:06 by
KISSTOPHER
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I'm smiling on the outside because I have a rainbow of pills on the inside.
49
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12-02-2011 14:05 by
ff1241
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Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
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12-02-2011 14:01
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"The problem with quotes on the Internet is that they are difficult to verify" - Abraham Lincoln.
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12-02-2011 14:01
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I've been dating a homeless women recently, and I think it's getting serious. She asked me to move out with her.
52
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12-02-2011 13:58
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OMG, I'm going to be so tired in the morning that I'm not going to be able to think...luckily I'll be at work.
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12-02-2011 13:33 by
mzee26
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Can you believe this guy, officer? Committing suicide in my trunk without my permission. There should be some kind of law about this.
125
23
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12-02-2011 13:16 by
Aaron
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"Leave It To Beaver" is what I am calling it...it's a club for distraught men that have a hard time dealing with women!!
9
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12-02-2011 12:52 by
urboyblue
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Horse d'oeuvres anyone?
11
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12-02-2011 12:51
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1
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Just because I liked your status... Doesnt mean you have to like mine 2 seconds after... Didnt know you liked the idea of me sittin on the toliet..
18
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12-02-2011 12:08 by
Seanathon
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0
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Please hurry up with your story.. That I care absolutely nothing about... I'm afraid if I keep this fake smile on my face any longer, its guna get stuck this way.
23
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12-02-2011 11:17 by
Seanathon
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