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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Broke chicks always know exactly what kind of Men they want BUT never know what kind of Man DON'T want their destitute a$$!
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11-17-2011 12:00
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Shout out to all the fat people that are hungry for success.
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11-17-2011 11:57
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Damn girl..you look like you know how to have a good time...at a buffet.
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11-17-2011 11:56
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Women don't trust Men, not because they cheat but because they know how scandalous and shady other Women are!
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11-17-2011 11:47 by
Czovczov
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I wish you could pick a brand of car, and every few years you'd get an upgrade. Like with phones.
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11-17-2011 11:45 by
BEGO
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Sometimes I read status updates on Facebook and wonder “How am I friends with them?”
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11-17-2011 11:44 by
BEKO
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Yeah, I'm F.I.N.E., (F)alling apart, (I)nsecure, (N)eeding help, (E)verything's wrong.
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11-17-2011 11:43 by
BEGO
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Hell hath no fury like a Poptart that hasn't had time to properly cool off.
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11-17-2011 10:45
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As cold as it is outside, today might be a good day to double-up on my underwear.
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11-17-2011 10:32 by
Goodeolboy
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All TVs should come with a brick to throw at it when the Wendy Williams show comes on
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11-17-2011 10:23
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I think if some people were to actually post something positive on Facebook they would spontaneously combust. Frickin Emos!!
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11-17-2011 10:22
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You're my girl to the fullest. If you're shootin' up the place, I'm bringing the bullets.
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11-17-2011 10:11
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I tried to make it rain but now there is coffee everywhere and one of my coworkers is on the way to the hospital.
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11-17-2011 09:59 by
shaun
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According to chain messages, I should've died 18 times, been raped twice, been cut 10 times.
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11-17-2011 09:48
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Happy National Unfriend Day:)
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11-17-2011 09:41
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Hi. I'm a c**k blocker. Why? 'Cause my friends are all hot and I'm a tub of lard with tattoos everywhere and all kinds of metal s**t in my face.
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11-17-2011 09:39
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Dance like no ones watching. Sing like no ones listening. Live everyday like Maury told you its not your baby
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11-17-2011 08:34 by
SuthernFukr
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I am no Miss Williams but I know how to handle balls.
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11-17-2011 08:32
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Laugh now but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world.
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11-17-2011 08:31 by
SuthernFukr
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This cold, bleak, dreary, wet, grey weather has given me Seasonal Adjective Disorder.
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11-17-2011 08:30 by
SuthernFukr
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