Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Mmmmm, Thanksgiving leftovers for breakfast. Babe, can you pour more gravy on the green meat please?
←Rate | 12-08-2011 09:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever send you LOL, you should know I prolly faked it! :P
←Rate | 12-08-2011 08:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How's your Pagan/christian-Inspired, Secular Winter, Gift-giving, Observance Day shopping going?
←Rate | 12-08-2011 08:37 by Jerbear Comments (0)  


   messageicon Still waiting to here those ghost stories they talk about in the Christmas song It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
←Rate | 12-08-2011 07:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was on a plane today. The stewardess said, "would you like some headphones?" I said, "sure, but how did you know my name was Phones?"
←Rate | 12-08-2011 05:32 by The piper Comments (0)  


   messageicon ♪ ♫ Rolling In The Deep ♫ ♪ ~ Me in my basement rolling a joint.
←Rate | 12-08-2011 02:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a guy treats you like a princess, he was obviously raised by a queen. If he treats you like crap, well..he was raised by someone along the lines of michael vick.
←Rate | 12-08-2011 01:44 by @austincreel Comments (0)  


   messageicon The three stages of a relationship: 1. xoxo, 2. xxx & 3. ex
←Rate | 12-08-2011 01:42 by @austincreel Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the happy in love couples are called "love birds" the miserable fighting couples should be called "angry birds"
←Rate | 12-08-2011 01:40 by @austincreel Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear whoever is reading this, you're beautiful and someone out there is crazy about you. So smile. Life is too short to be unhappy.
←Rate | 12-08-2011 01:14 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
←Rate | 12-08-2011 01:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon .I texted my girlfriend saying who sang 'Party Rock Anthem'. She replied 'LMFAO'. I don't get what's so funny?
←Rate | 12-08-2011 00:46 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look left ═════> You failed.
←Rate | 12-08-2011 00:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon .I hate it when celebrities get on TV and tell us to donate to some fund… B!tch, you make 12 million a movie & I make $12/hr. You send money..
←Rate | 12-08-2011 00:25 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when celebrities get on TV and tell us to donate to some fund… B!tch, you make 12 million a movie & I make $12/hr. You send money.
←Rate | 12-08-2011 00:23 by g0r. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friend 1: Guys my wife wants to have 3 kids cuz of the 3 musketeers. Friend 2: Well my wife wants to have 7 because of the 7 dwarfs. Me: Guys I gotta go... my wife was watching 101 dalmations..
←Rate | 12-08-2011 00:11 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was so drunk last night when I got to the bottom of the stairs I took off my shoes, coat, top, pants and boxers as slowly as I could. I crept upstairs very quietly, it was only when I got to the top of the stairs I realised I was on the f*cking bus!
←Rate | 12-08-2011 00:03 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got caught jerking off while sniffing my friends sister's panties yesterday.... Wouldn't have been so bad but she was still wearing them at the time. He went f*cking ballistic! Made the rest of her funeral very awkward for both of us.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 23:58 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw 50/50 and now my lower back hurts............. I'm scared
←Rate | 12-07-2011 23:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy
←Rate | 12-07-2011 23:33 by g0re Comments (0)  



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