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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Ho Ho Ho= the first 3 girls on Santas naughty list
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12-15-2011 12:48 by
Fugazi15
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I try to let women think I'm mysterious and not hard up....that's why I wait a good 45 seconds before I Poke someone back on facebook.
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12-15-2011 12:33 by
Mick F
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If men are from Mars, that would explain why we try to probe everything.
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12-15-2011 12:27 by
@demiroquai
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Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is SethMacFarlane and his Evil Genius.....and an Occupy Wall St. Family Guy!
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12-15-2011 12:19
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every time I hear that jolly fat guy with the red suit and reindeer belt out his familiar "Hoe Hoe Hoe"....I cannot help looking around for my ex girlfriend
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12-15-2011 12:19 by
celebritygifter
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talk is cheap, but I guess that's the only thing your broke ass can afford
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12-15-2011 12:10 by
Mr. Ryan
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If you wake up with a weird taste in your mouth on Chrismas morning, just remember that Santa only comes once a year...
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12-15-2011 12:08
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I DON'T have EX's! I have Y's. Like "Y the hell did I date you?!"
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12-15-2011 12:03 by
@CarbonZilla
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I'm too embarrassed to tell you how many times I've mistaken insulation for cotton candy.
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12-15-2011 11:27 by
SEAN
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Have to go to the doctor to get my blood pressure medication. Not that I need it. I'm a drug dealer to the 50+ crowd
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12-15-2011 11:00 by
Mcslapnuts
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Found out my american indian name is "running sqiurrel touching it twice"
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12-15-2011 10:54 by
Mcslapnuts
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Has a strict tag and release policy with cougars
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12-15-2011 10:49
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You realize 300 pages of this crap has been written since thanksgiving.
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12-15-2011 10:43
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just let me get 1 thing straight---------------~ DARN! so close.
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12-15-2011 10:42
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My wife is taking my kids to go see the nut cracker this weekend. Of course I'm talking about my mother in law not the show.
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12-15-2011 10:29 by
eaglet1122
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Close mindedness is the most abject form of blindness.
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12-15-2011 10:19 by
Mick F
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Can you imagine how scary the Wendy William's Pushing Out a Baby Face looks?
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12-15-2011 10:06
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"I wasn't that Drunk" "Dude, you told me to give you a ride home... when the party was at your house."
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12-15-2011 09:56
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Why do women even try to talk about football? Do you see guys in the kitchen discussing dishwashing strategies?
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12-15-2011 09:48 by
BAD GUY
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You CAN'T tell me that "Wendy Williams" Has Never, Wrestled For WWF.
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12-15-2011 09:45
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