Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4122 of 5593

   messageicon Ho Ho Ho= the first 3 girls on Santas naughty list
←Rate | 12-15-2011 12:48 by Fugazi15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I try to let women think I'm mysterious and not hard up....that's why I wait a good 45 seconds before I Poke someone back on facebook.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 12:33 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon If men are from Mars, that would explain why we try to probe everything.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 12:27 by @demiroquai Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is SethMacFarlane and his Evil Genius.....and an Occupy Wall St. Family Guy!
←Rate | 12-15-2011 12:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon every time I hear that jolly fat guy with the red suit and reindeer belt out his familiar "Hoe Hoe Hoe"....I cannot help looking around for my ex girlfriend
←Rate | 12-15-2011 12:19 by celebritygifter Comments (0)  


   messageicon talk is cheap, but I guess that's the only thing your broke ass can afford
←Rate | 12-15-2011 12:10 by Mr. Ryan Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you wake up with a weird taste in your mouth on Chrismas morning, just remember that Santa only comes once a year...
←Rate | 12-15-2011 12:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I DON'T have EX's! I have Y's. Like "Y the hell did I date you?!"
←Rate | 12-15-2011 12:03 by @CarbonZilla Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm too embarrassed to tell you how many times I've mistaken insulation for cotton candy.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 11:27 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have to go to the doctor to get my blood pressure medication. Not that I need it. I'm a drug dealer to the 50+ crowd
←Rate | 12-15-2011 11:00 by Mcslapnuts Comments (0)  


   messageicon Found out my american indian name is "running sqiurrel touching it twice"
←Rate | 12-15-2011 10:54 by Mcslapnuts Comments (0)  


   messageicon Has a strict tag and release policy with cougars
←Rate | 12-15-2011 10:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You realize 300 pages of this crap has been written since thanksgiving.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 10:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just let me get 1 thing straight---------------~ DARN! so close.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 10:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife is taking my kids to go see the nut cracker this weekend. Of course I'm talking about my mother in law not the show.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 10:29 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Close mindedness is the most abject form of blindness.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 10:19 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can you imagine how scary the Wendy William's Pushing Out a Baby Face looks?
←Rate | 12-15-2011 10:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I wasn't that Drunk" "Dude, you told me to give you a ride home... when the party was at your house."
←Rate | 12-15-2011 09:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do women even try to talk about football? Do you see guys in the kitchen discussing dishwashing strategies?
←Rate | 12-15-2011 09:48 by BAD GUY Comments (0)  


   messageicon You CAN'T tell me that "Wendy Williams" Has Never, Wrestled For WWF.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 09:45 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left