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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Willie Nelson is 77, so would somebody please warn him that weed's the gateway to heroin before it's too late.
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12-10-2011 12:20 by
SuthernFukr
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Lost a lot of Xmas Manger characters, but 2 Wise Men and a He-Man will do.
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12-10-2011 12:18 by
SuthernFukr
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Rihanna should date Lebron James.. He never beats anyone
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12-10-2011 12:14
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I have seen many men undergo difficult tasks for the slim chance of getting laid.
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12-10-2011 12:12
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I'm just your typical stay-at-home dad. Except I don't do housework or have a wife or any kids.
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12-10-2011 12:12
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I love updating my Facebook status while crossing the stre
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12-10-2011 12:11
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If it weren't for the fact that my bed is so far away from my computer, some days I wouldn't exercise at all.
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12-10-2011 12:10
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Shout out to the illegal aliens that are down to earth
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12-10-2011 12:08
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Sleep is my drug, my bed is my dealer, & my alarm clock is the police.
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12-10-2011 11:38 by
MC Mandela
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How long should you wait for a reply from someone via text before you assume they've been murdered?
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12-10-2011 11:34 by
SuthernFukr
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Turned my brain off for the weekend and now I can't stop coming up with ideas for Adam Sandler movies.
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12-10-2011 11:33 by
SuthernFukr
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I spend way too much time figuring out how I'm gonna get drunk.
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12-10-2011 11:33 by
SuthernFukr
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Relationships nowadays: First month, I love you baby! Second month, we are forever! Third month, Single.
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12-10-2011 11:26 by
BEGO
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Don't you hate it when a chocolate chip blocks the straw of your Starbucks coffee and you realize that you have no real problems?
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12-10-2011 11:26 by
SuthernFukr
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I once had a life … then some idiot came and told me to make a Facebook!
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12-10-2011 11:26 by
BEGO
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My Holiday Lights Tour starts in 10 mins. Free booze and spraypaint. No cops! Seriously, if you're a cop you have to say so.
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12-10-2011 11:24 by
SuthernFukr
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Whenever I hear a car alarm I'm like "Oh no! How can I help that person whose car is in distress? By rubbing poo on their door handle?"
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12-10-2011 11:20 by
SuthernFukr
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The bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range
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12-10-2011 11:10
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whenever I say the word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
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12-10-2011 08:01
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wth I go on google to see the eclipse .. I type in moon and get a bunch of as$ pics
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12-10-2011 07:19 by
randygalaxy
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