Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4053 of 5577

   messageicon Welcome to FaceSpace
←Rate | 12-17-2011 22:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Best Things in life are unseen. That's why we close our eyes when we KISS, CRY, and DREAM.
←Rate | 12-17-2011 22:26 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon it's not a crutch, it's something i've come to rely on to help me through life
←Rate | 12-17-2011 22:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pretending that the laser pointer app on your phone tells you if your kid brushed his teeth good enough..priceless!
←Rate | 12-17-2011 22:16 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎96% percent of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils.
←Rate | 12-17-2011 21:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im a bit more cautious when deleting my internet history. I thought it might look a bit suspicious that I haven't been on the internet for two years.
←Rate | 12-17-2011 21:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drinking game: Take a shot or chug a beer everytime Tony Romo says "you know" during an interview or press conference.
←Rate | 12-17-2011 20:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lazy rule # 538: I would rather carry 10 overloaded plastic bags in each hand than taking 2 trips to bring my groceries in
←Rate | 12-17-2011 20:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this...ever
←Rate | 12-17-2011 20:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon your not drunk till you have to grab the grass to keep from falling off the earth
←Rate | 12-17-2011 20:20 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fact: Guys don't like it when you compliment them on their gay apparel.
←Rate | 12-17-2011 19:53 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon i have just woke up with 3 broken ribs, 2 black eyes,concussion,apparently when the wife asks whats on TV tonight, 6 inches of dust is not the right answer !!!!!!!
←Rate | 12-17-2011 19:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you smile in Wal Mart and you have teeth everyone will think you're fancy.
←Rate | 12-17-2011 19:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon TEACHER: what is the opposite of laughing? STUDENT: fu*king... TEACHER: why is that? STUDENT: well laughing is Ha Ha Ha and fu*king is Ah Ah Ah ....
←Rate | 12-17-2011 19:05 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon look people It's spelled B-E-F-O-R-E, not B4... we speak English, not bingo
←Rate | 12-17-2011 19:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa I was not naughty, I was merely thinking outside the box!!
←Rate | 12-17-2011 19:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a fat man in a red suit comes and grabs you and stuffs you into a bag, dont worry. He just read my wish list. :)
←Rate | 12-17-2011 18:59 by ghl19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What did one ocean say to the other ocean?...Nothing they just waved...Do you SEA what I did there?...I'm SHORE you did, BEACH.
←Rate | 12-17-2011 18:57 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wow! Only seven more shopping days until it's Christmas! I wish that I could afford to buy each and every one of you a very expensive, extravagant gift! I wouldn't, but do I just wish I could afford to, if I wanted.
←Rate | 12-17-2011 18:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sure it looks like an innocent candy cane now, but give me 5-7 minutes and it'll be a dagger I can take out my enemies with.
←Rate | 12-17-2011 18:35 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left