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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Having trouble getting onto your horse? Simply ride up beside it on your giraffe and then jump down.
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02-15-2012 15:18 by
Aaron
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hardcore pawn jus hired an ape whisperer, things should be looking up
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02-15-2012 15:16 | Tags: Filtered
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i'd be willin to bet not one of those swamp people EVER thought they'd have their own show
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02-15-2012 15:13
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If you fart while you're peeing on your significant other, it's called a golden thunderstorm.
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02-15-2012 15:10 by
Paxton
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There was an Amber Alert the other day. I thought it meant that the stores were out of beer.
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02-15-2012 15:05
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if you're still waiting for your chocolate....you're dating a cheap a-hole.
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02-15-2012 15:01
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The Beach Boys reunited at the Grammys. They're headed out on tour for their 50th anniversary. Now when they sing about surfing, they mean surfing the Internet for discounted prostate medication.
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02-15-2012 13:58 by
mark
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Recent studies suggest that balding people have cooler heads, opposite socks still fit, and red crayons break easier then blue ones... (@_@)
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02-15-2012 13:55
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i like to keep a bag of hair in my car, it distracts them from the drug search
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02-15-2012 13:46
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in my world...staple guns = curtain rods
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02-15-2012 13:38
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The book "Women For Dummies" would have a picture of my Ex on it.
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02-15-2012 13:37
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hey kids, come on and put your tin foil hats on so you wont get wet in this electrical storm
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02-15-2012 13:36
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Sometimes when I see ugly people at the gym I think, "What's the point? You can't workout the face."
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02-15-2012 13:30
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hardcore pawn...more like, when animals attack
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02-15-2012 13:28
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If she asks you to be in an open relationship, tell her to walk out that open door. She's a slut.
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02-15-2012 13:28
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My dentist just said I'm getting a crown! I must have been a *super* good patient today.
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02-15-2012 13:27 by
SuthernFukr
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i guess the "forever lazy" suit is appropriately named since it looks like you were too lazy to care youre in public in your pajamas
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02-15-2012 13:25
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No one is happier that a fat and ugly b!tch chosen to be the assistant of the day on Dr Oz show.
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02-15-2012 13:24
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love the scoring system on storage wars..lets see...a broken tricycle, thats $200, used tupperware...$600......
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02-15-2012 13:21
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My buddy used to be a store clerk but he lost his job, so he set up a kiosk in the mall to vend for himself...
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02-15-2012 13:19
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