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can't remember the last time I saw a commercial that didn't have to do with auto insurance, cars, beer, or b-o-n-e-r meds... 
cereal is dead to me now....what happened to choosing the best toy
hate when people say "i can't complain"..really? because all you do is complain
decaffienated redbull, theyre calling it sitting bull
What's black, 'will always love you,' and has white on the nose? ... a Border Collie.
old age homes are gonna be filled with saggy tramp stamps at diaper changin time....mmm sexxxy
you will never convince me a dude with 2 hoop earrings doesnt look gayeeee
In need of a b-pong partner... If you're not super cute, then you better be the nuts at pong.
if we spelled things by sounding them out like we should...i wood werk in the sitty
rearranging my bird's perches jus to watch him fall..
just watched Whitney Houston's funeral on DVR... is it just me, or did her performance seem a bit stiff?
my father called me an asswipe, I said the wipe didnt fall far from the ass
I wonder what it feels like to spend an entire Saturday trying to come up with something funny to post here and getting no love at all... Not that I spent all day thinking this up or anything...
the m0ment when someone shaves a beard and you had no idea they were THAT ugly
bums would prob do better recyclin their shoppin carts instead of cans
Hey toilette paper manufactures, you think you can make the last six sheets a courtesy red? Thanks
I understand how people feel when they see their ex with someone else. I feel the SAME way when I see the pizza guy at somebody else house
as soon as the wife leaves for work, the kids grab their helmets for the amazing treadmill/catapult
blowing bubbles for the kids, they insist I blow cigarette smoke in em cuz they sink and explode like grenades. hope they get me an iron lung for my b'day this yr
jus stole my bosses car, gonna put a swastika on it and drop it off in da hood 