Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 3878 of 5593

   messageicon a cheap little bb gun, sometimes it shoots to the right, sometimes it shoots to the left, and sometime it doesn't work at all. Kinda like a politician!
←Rate | 02-18-2012 15:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never realised there is a career for statues in the movie industry until I watched Bella in Twilight.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 15:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wanted: Dyslexics to work 5 to 9.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 15:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to date cross-eyed women just to feel better about myself after sex.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 15:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A real home improvement warehouse would have a marriage counselor.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 15:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your ass out all day long.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 14:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bobby Brown abruptly left Whitney Houston's funeral at about 12:20. Heard it was for a smoke break. I think he's just jealous of Kevin Costner's speech
←Rate | 02-18-2012 13:28 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somebody on my friends list has really REALLY smelly breath... Should I tell Tracy?!
←Rate | 02-18-2012 13:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i guess dione warwick and her psychic friends couldnt eveb predict whitneys death.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 13:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This white girl took me home last night. She wanted me to prove to her what they say about black guys is true....so I stabbed her and took her purse.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 13:14 by Mike c Comments (1)  


   messageicon Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 12:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Negative Thoughts + Negative People = Negative Life
←Rate | 02-18-2012 12:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon RANDOM FACT: Rihanna's face is 70% forehead.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 12:10 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when people need constant re-assurance. You know what I mean?
←Rate | 02-18-2012 12:08 by Kisstopher Comments (1)  


   messageicon I often send texts to random numbers that say. "Guess whose restraining order's expired!?" Eventually I'm bound to get a hysterical reply.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 12:08 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon She was using them for years before she found out they were lint rollers and not for waxing your taint.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 12:06 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon In case you're wondering, sneezing while peeing is very uncomfortable indeed.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 12:02 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon While laying in bed with my Husband last night, he asked me what I'd most like to do to his body. Apparently, "Identify it" was the wrong answer
←Rate | 02-18-2012 11:21 by gogopowerrangers Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say honesty is the best policy. I dunno who"they"are so until they come forward ima lie like hell...
←Rate | 02-18-2012 11:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was young I used to poke holes in my parent's condoms so that there could be someone else to do the dishes.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 11:01 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left