Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I haven't been laid in such a long time that my virginity is beginning to grow back.
←Rate | 02-19-2012 09:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes when I am bored I like to park on the side of the freeway and stick a blow dryer out the window and watch the cars slam on their brakes.
←Rate | 02-19-2012 09:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am the guy she asks to feel her legs after shaving.
←Rate | 02-19-2012 09:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hints that someone is not enjoying your company. . 1. I keep backing away from you. 2. No eye contact. 3. Keep checking my phone. 4. I'm trying real hard to spontaneously combust.
←Rate | 02-19-2012 08:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon new rule: For every post you don't like, you must post a better one..
←Rate | 02-19-2012 08:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best thing about a german shepherd is after he kills someone, he dismembers and...buries them. all by himself..no muss no fuss. good boy
←Rate | 02-19-2012 08:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i like my own posts for psychological manipulation of you, also cuz I do like them
←Rate | 02-19-2012 07:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon exterminaters are just serial killers with no balls
←Rate | 02-19-2012 07:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "my, aren't you looking floppy today" is not an effective greeting, unless you want them to wonder why they look floppy for days to come
←Rate | 02-19-2012 07:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon midgets are the T-Rex's of our species..
←Rate | 02-19-2012 07:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i was gonna give you a raise, but you clicked your tongue ring against your teeth one too many times...we get it, your tongue is pierced, stop playing with it..we're not having sex, so I dont care
←Rate | 02-19-2012 07:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon does anyone really think stretching your earholes is sexy? whats next? lip plates?
←Rate | 02-19-2012 07:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon imagine the nurses surprise changin a old lady diaper an her tat says 'juicy'
←Rate | 02-19-2012 06:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon can't remember the last time I saw a commercial that didn't have to do with auto insurance, cars, beer, or b-o-n-e-r meds...
←Rate | 02-19-2012 03:26 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon cereal is dead to me now....what happened to choosing the best toy
←Rate | 02-18-2012 23:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon hate when people say "i can't complain"..really? because all you do is complain
←Rate | 02-18-2012 22:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon decaffienated redbull, theyre calling it sitting bull
←Rate | 02-18-2012 22:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's black, 'will always love you,' and has white on the nose? ... a Border Collie.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 22:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon old age homes are gonna be filled with saggy tramp stamps at diaper changin time....mmm sexxxy
←Rate | 02-18-2012 21:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon you will never convince me a dude with 2 hoop earrings doesnt look gayeeee
←Rate | 02-18-2012 21:50 Comments (0)  



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